Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving has come and gone like a flash, and I can't help but think about how thankful I am for our family, the fact that this year we've never had to go without, and that our children constantly challenge us and provoke us with their thoughts, questions and behaviors. (Sometimes this is good, and sometimes this is not...)

I've had a handful of recent experiences with the kids that made me really chuckle, so I thought I'd share some of these with you.


A few weeks ago we went to see a Christmas-tree show. This is one of those professionally-decorated Christmas tree extravaganzas with life-sized peacocks and babydolls somehow sculpted into trees without looking silly. I thought the kids would enjoy the experience, and hey, it's free.

It seemed others had the same plan.

There was a young woman with a very tiny baby in one of those cool baby-wrap things. (I'm a big fan of baby-wearning but haven't ever had a baby to wear). Melat (5) shouted in the store "that lady has a baby in her bra. That is DISGUSTING!!!"

Another funny one was when Grandpa brought out the Turkey (he makes an outstanding BBQ turkey) and Destiny (12) was shocked to see that this year's turkey had wings. She insists that last year's turkey did not. She also requested a turkey with three legs for next year's dinner, because she, her sister and her cousin all prefer leg meat.

Lastly, tonight, Destiny and I were in the car, and Destiny asked me what a song was about. The song in question was "Jeremiah was a bullfrog." I have NO IDEA what that song is about. Does anyone know?

An old, funny video

This video was taken in the spring (2010) when we went to Missouri to visit my grandpa and my dad. Melat was sitting on this swiveling chair toy at a park, but it was a really windy day, and her fro-tails (pigtails) were like kites and kept spinning her, faster and faster.

We thought you would enjoy.

Melat doesn't want to grow up, because old people are gross.

The kids always seem to express their thoughts in the car. Today, Melat told me "I don't want to get old, because old people are gross." Melat is my four and a half year old Ethiopian daughter.

I asked her why old people are gross. She reminisced about a recent trip to Missouri to see my grandfather in his last days. My kids do great with illness and death. They've both seen their share of it, and are totally practical about enjoying the last time that you have with people. They were not intimidated or afraid and were even reluctant to leave the hospital when I decided we'd spent enough time for grandpa's good (some times... too much company, especially in the form of boisterous children is not good).

They took in everything. Melat saw the bag where the urine goes for a bed-bound person who can't get up for the bathroom. That was a very curious feature but she agreed that something must be done if you're too big for diapers and need to go, but can't.

We brought grandma some lunch in the hospital--a bag of little burgers. Melat wanted to know why we weren't bringing grandpa any burgers. While grandma chewed, I explained to her that grandpa was too weak to eat a burger and that he gets all the food he needs from the IV bag, pointing to the bag suspended above his head and the plastic tube that ran to his hand. "He's not hungry because he gets his food and water in that thing."

"Ok" she said without further questions. (whew... I thought that was going to be harder to explain).

So now, six weeks later, she explained to me that old people are gross. Because they pee in the bag and then get their food from the bag.

I guess I hadn't made it clear that they are different bags.

We lost grandpa later on the day of our visit, but we were all very happy to be there and say our last goodbyes and it was a pleasant visit all around. It's going to take me a little while to explain to her that old people don't eat pee. :-/

Happy Easter, and an unexpected trip to Missouri.

In the airport in Minneapolis on the way to Missouri, the kids and I ate dinner at a TGI Fridays. There, to keep you busy while they cook, they have Trivial Pursuit cards.

The kids and I started reading one another trival pursuit questions. I asked Destiny "Who ordered the crucifiction of Jesus Christ?" She thought a minute and I prompted her with a little bit of the Nicene Creed to jog her memory. She said "I know! It was Conscious Piliot!"

I couldn't help but laugh. With any luck, we'd have a "conscious piliot" in an hour. I explained that the guys' name was "Pontious"

Thought you'd enjoy.


If you caught that we were traveling, and knew that no vacations were in the plan for us this spring, a little explanation may be in order.

We got a call on Monday that my grandfather, whom I haven't seen in 17 years was very sick and was being removed from life support. On Tuesday, the kids and I took a standby flight to Missouri and we were able to say goodbye. He had never met them and really seemed to enjoy meeting him (it's hard to know just how much he was aware of but he did give us a clue--I'll explain in a minute).

This meant that the kids were able to see the entire Mainard side of the family--my dad, whom I haven't seen in seven years, his "new" wife of five years, my uncles and their significant others, my cousin--now a soldier in Mississippi, who I haven't seen since he was in a stroller and both of my grandparents. We made it to see Grandpa about five hours before he passed and the kids actually really enjoyed meeting him. Melat dubbed him "Grandpa sleepy" and this fellow who'd be described easily as a "tough, onry old cuss" (he's a curmudgeonly type) is generally anything but sleepy--the kids just met him in his last hours and while he was heavily medicated on Morophine.

We arrived at the hospital and the kids saw him on Oxygen and barely moving--his eyes were open and his breathing was rattling (many medical practitioners have dubbed this "the death rattle") I recognized it was the end almost right away. We introduced him to the girls and expected to leave almost immediately for fear we'd be overwhelming to him--but the girls didn't want to leave. They sat and talked to him. Melat climbed up in the recliner next to him and talked to him. Destiny sat by my grandmother and held her hand and listened through the stories, talk and tears.

I've always had a huge respect for my grandfather. Halfway because he scared the tar out of me (he was a drill sergeant at one time and served in both the Vietnam and Korean wars) but he was a very kind person and really enjoys children and the girls didn't seem to bother him at all.

From Melat's spot on one side of grandpa--she offered my grandmother a piece of gum. She explained that she doesn't chew gum because it sticks to her teeth. In an attempt to better explain herself, she popped out her bottom dentures.

My kids have never seen dentures before and they both shrieked.

The next thing that happened stunned us all. Grandpa laughed--a great big belly laugh, and a big (denture-free) smile.

This is exactly the sort of thing that he would have found hysterical, so we were pretty sure he was aware enough of what was going on.

Overall, the trip was a wonderful success, even in spite of bad circumstances and no planning. We got to meet my step-mom and one of my step-sisters and her husband and their three delightful children. I haven't seen my dad in seven years, so he's never met my daughters--they loved spending time with him.

The kids were great up until the very last flight when the fatigue and travel started to fray their otherwise perfect manners.

I spent a lot of time ruminating on what a gift it was that my parents made a point of making sure my sisters and I knew our grandparents. They preserved family stories--and always told us about the difference that our grandparents made in the world. My grandfather, Roger Cummings served in two wars--Vietnam and Korea. He was also a POW. He was a drill sergeant at one point. He had a red-hot temper but a soft spot for children. He would help anyone who needed help. He had a heart of gold. He married my grandmother, a single mom with three sons and they were married for something like forty-six years when he passed on Tuesday.

It seemed like a good time to meet everyone while they were in town to be with grandpa--my aunts and uncles, my cousin Richard, and my dad and step mom and of course, grandma and grandpa--so I took the kids. Some would argue that this was a bad idea, especially taking kids to see a grandfather they've never met in is dying hours. I questioned the idea myself, but it ended up being a fantastic success. With this side of the family, we weren't sure how they would react to our interracial family, nor Melat's HIV diagnosis. We couldn't have asked for a better outcome. Our family was perfectly at home with our "conspicuous adoption" and a couple of skinned-knee incidents let me know that the family did know about M's HIV. I didn't get fear or shunning--just a "mom--how would you like us to deal with this?"

Melat was able to play with my step-nieces and nephew without any fear or shunning.

Shame on me for underestimating them. We couldn't have asked for a kinder reception or more inclusion. The kids and I look forward to our next trip and hope it will be soon--Rob wants to go next time also, but for this trip we planned on so little notice that we didn't even wait for him to get off shift.

We're looking forward to our next trip to Missouri--it's not scheduled yet, but we're hoping soon.

Also, we're extremely thankful that we've been doing the Total Money Makeover plan. Because of that, we had the money (and a plan) for such unplanned expenses as an emergency cross-country trip. Eighteen months ago there was no way we could have pulled something like this off. If you don't know about TMMO, see www.daveramsey.com. It'll change your life!

Happy Easter everyone--He has Risen!

A double-funny day!

Got a funny from each kid today. Many days they have giggle-worthy thoughts, but today we got especially good observations from them each.

Here's the text posted from my facebook page (I post there first because my phone is always handy).

Melat's (4) funny today---a neighbor was walking her dog and mentioned that she's in a hurry to work. Melat asked "You going to work to make the money so the doggy can go to college? That's what my daddy does. He works so I can go to college and then have a nice job and nice house when I grow up." The lady about passed out laughing.

Destiny (11) saw a bottle of "Bleu Cheese" dressing on the table and asked "was it on sale 'caues they didn't spell 'blue' right?" Good question D. I dunno. Anyone know why they spell it with the French spelling? Perhaps a sign that I shop at a few too many liquidator stores.

This is Destiny's from yesterday: Found the kitty curled up on the bed asleep and decided to take advantage of his sleepyness to administer his dose of oral amino acid supplement (new from the vet). He jumped and I sprayed the bed with this syrenge of cat-food-paste. Destiny said "Well, on the bright side, now your bed smells like liver!" ??!!??

Soggy Pee!

I put a lot of the day-to-day kid funnies on Facebook, because it's easier than the blog to update and usually I post only the items that are snicker-worthy there. :) Here's today's funny.

MJ Lives--At My House

So Destiny is a fanatical Michael Jackson fan. She gets up early and plays his CDs and music videos. She dances and sings.

It's pretty funny.

A few days ago I woke up to Melat screaming "NO! I WANT TO WATCH THE **BROWN** MICHAEL JACKSON!!" Apparently, she prefers his earlier works.

Sweet Violets

One of our kids' favorite songs is a funny old song my grandmother taught me years ago. You can see it here if you'd like to.

A few nights ago Melat asked me to sing her the "pharmacy" song. Took me the longest time to know she wanted the "farmer" song. I was afraid Rob had taught her some off-color tune I didn't know of. :)

Clams--Hold The Rocks.

Fed Melat clams for the first time tonight. Clams in the shell, and scallops not in the shell. She ate the clams out of the shell, and proceeded to put the scallops into the shells. Then she asked me why we fed her dinner "with the rocks in it." Ha ha!

Superbowl 2010

While we aren't exactly a football family, we do look forward every year to watching the football game though. Most years, Rob worked on Superbowl Sunday, but he was off this year. Destiny and I make a habit of making piles of junk food and eating buffet-style all day.

This year before the game started, Rob went into a fit of house cleaning (why before we let the children loose with hot wings, I'll never understand).

He shampooed everything with the carpet steamer--even the sofa. We ended up watching the game on piles of towels so our butts wouldn't be damp.

Melat being new to America and organized sports tried to follow the game and asked very fun questions. When she saw the referee she asked "is he da boss who gets to sass the people?

Ice Princess: Olympic Warm-ups

Being all about princesses and ponies, winter television is great for Melat (4). She likes parades (princesses and ponies galore) and winter sports like figure skating. We watched pairs skating for the first time this week and she asked an insightful question "why they gets to be on TV when they can't even skate by themselfs."

I thought the grammar was great fun, so I left it intact.

Later this week, M wanted to watch ice skating on TV but all that was on was hockey or speed skating. She asks.. "mommy.... what did they do with the princesses?" I had to explain that even princesses need breaks.

More pairs figure skating to watch this morning with Melat. She says "Mom, why's that girl wearing a swimsuit for ice skating. Doesn't sound like a good idea mom!" So true.

Image Credit: Flickr.com user

marcocerriciommei' s

Kid funny: Stuff on a Bump

Melat was following Rob around asking what he's doing. He had a bug bite and was looking for medicine for it. He told her "I'm going to put some stuff on a bump" She said "stuff on a bump? Is that like 'Hop on Pop?'"

Summer Wrapping Up: In Pictures

Where to begin in reporting our summer. It seemed to have flown by. Destiny attended Girl Scout Camp at Saltwater State Park and Church Vacation Bible School. We took a day hike at Mt. Rainier National Park, and the highlight of our summer was a four-day camping trip with friends. Four moms, twenty-four kids, four days. It was a blast.

Also this summer, we had visitors from Ethiopia. The director of WACAP House (Our agency's children's home) came for meetings and we had the opportunity to take him and his colleague to see some of the local sights. It was great to have the opportunity to visit with them both and for them to see Melat's progress, and her continued good health.

Just last week we got excellent news from M's doctor who says that her HIV is not progressing still. It's unclear why this is, and she'll continue to have her maintenance tests, but it's great to see that she's doing so well.

Melat just had her fourth birthday, and recieved a little bit of birthday money. She also gets money for her only "chore" in the house--which is matching socks. She gets $0.25 per load of wash for matching socks.

Boy was I surprised to learn she'd squirreled away $160!

I took her to the bank and she opened her first bank account. She handed the teller her green card, and her money and said "I'm thinkin' about it and I want a bank for my money."


Destiny is celebrating her 11th birthday this month. She's busy getting ready for school to start, and is getting a head start on some of her lessons (she's doing an online-home school program). She was reading her history book and came to me in outrage saying "Mom! I can't believe they have us read this book--people die in it!" (I felt bad that I had to explain to her that in history, everybody dies.).

With Destiny home-schooling now, Melat was pushing back about preschool, so she's staying home now too--and has daily "table time" twice a day--an hour of activities at her little-kid-sized desk.

She sat on the sofa a few days ago with her lacing cards--those little wooden shapes with holes around the edges. She was pulling the shoestring through the holes and said to me "Mom, I don't understand why anybody would do this." Then she put the cards in the box and went on to do something else.

I guess it's a good point. Why would anyone do that? But toddlers aren't supposed to ask.

One Happy Little Girl

Last night, Melat, our littlest daughter, spoke to her grandfather (Jess' dad) for the first time on the phone. He lives far away and the kids haven't met him yet. Now that Melat has been home almost a year and is almost four years old, her English was good enough to have a talk with Grandpa.

He asked her how she's doing. She said "I'm good, I have a mom and a dad and my Destiny now" (Destiny is her big sister's name--our other daughter).

That sentence says so much, doesn't it? We're coming up on one year home for Melat in September. What an amazing year it's been.

If you're interested in helping African Orphans find their forever families--and their "destinies" as the case may be--see http://www.projecthopeful.org or www.ahopeforchildren.org

Ethiopia Mommy

This is an old photo of M, taken about 18 months ago in Ethiopia in the orphanage. She'd been there about 8 months. I think that her birthmom visited her while she was there.

Recently, Melat has been talking about her "blue" mommy and daddy, and thinks that the man who lives in the condo behind us is her "blue daddy" she's just learning her colors in English, so we know this means her brown/Ethiopian dad.

I've not been sure how to respond to her or how to reassure her that they're still there, but she's with us for now. I Wasn't sure how to get her to stop thinking all brown people are her parents, or to stop being afraid each time we're around Ethiopian people that they'll be taking her back to Ethiopia, away from her family here.

She knows that in Ethiopia she had "brown parents." Her mom is still alive there, and while we tried to meet several times in Ethiopia, we sadly were never able to meet one another, which breaks my heart.

Yesterday, I recieved a phone call from our adoption agency's coordinator saying "good news!" She was calling to let me know that she'd recieved some photos of M's birth-mom, and would we like them? OF COURSE!!!

This dear woman who gave her only daughter to us--for reasons that we believe to be M's needing more advanced medical treatment here in the USA for her HIV.

I'm not posting mom's photo here, because I don't want to sacrifice her privacy, but I was stunned. She looks just like I imagine M will at about 16 or 17 years old, only perhaps, skinnier. With M's little "buddah belly" and appetite, it's hard to imagine her ever being so tiny as her mother in Ethiopia.

She's lovely, and shares the same beautiful hair texture (though it was all braided), and even has the same droopy left eyelid! She has a slightly darker complexion. One could easily pick her out of a crowd as M's mom, especially when side-by-side with the photo above.

I don't know why she decided to come in for her photo to be taken with our agency's rep in Ethiopia. Perhaps she's recieved the care package of photos and artwork?

I've started scanning photos and artwork from M and putting them into Shutterfly albums to send to Ethiopia.

I do hope that some day both Melat and I will be able to meet her. I want to hug her and to thank her and to assure her that we're not judging her choice, and that we're caring for her daughter as she would want us to.

I'm working on a letter to send with our next care package and hoping to have a friend translate it for us. Now, if I can just put words to what I want to say. Sometimes I think, words just aren't good enough, which is why last time I wimped out and sent only photos.