Some Xmas Greetings

Here is our Xmas Holiday Card for our friends and readers.

Also, our eleven-year-old has finally come to the conclusion that there is no Santa. Yesterday she asks me where the reindeer fly if there's no toys to deliver. Oh boy. Her logic is so delightful. She always keeps us laughing.

Happy Holidays all!

Before-And-After Hair

I put extensions in Destiny's hair this week by myself. One photo shows her hair natural, but uncombed--it's about twice as long as it looks in this picture. I used four and a half packs of Yaki synthetic hair to braid in these extensions. There are highlights of fuscia, bronze, and base colors of black and brown.

She's gonna sprain her neck the way she's flicking this around the house. I'm dying to even up the ends a bit but she goes running off every time I come near her with a pair of scissors. :)

If you're trying to do extensions and it's not going well, this is maybe the 12th time I've tried and I think the first time it's gone well.

I'm hoping to get three weeks out of this style. I finished the braids two days ago and they're still looking strong, so I'm optimistic.

The hardest parts are beginning the braid (there's no anchor on the plastic hair, you just have to freehand braid it into the natural hair) and the transitions, when the natural hair runs out you have to try to keep it looking really smooth by keeping a lot of tension on all three hair pieces as you brad otherwise the transition areas will get all frizzy over time and it will look like she's got two hairstyles going at once.

The most important keys to preserving the braids are to wrap hair every night and never get the natural hair wet while it's in this style. Wet hair will give the natural hair too much flex and elasticity and the synthetic braids will fall right out.

Happy braiding,
Jess

Some Destiny Funnies from the Wayback Files

I was cleaning the garage in preparation for a flood (well, not cleaning, organizing) and ran across a big bin of stuff that had been rather poorly plunked into a bin and stuffed into storage when we last listed our condo for sale--and then drug back into the garage when we gave up and took the house off the market and closed out the storage unit.

At the bottm of the bin, was the multicolored index cards that I put together when Destiny first moved here--I kept them on my nightstand and every time we had a really fun or funny encounter with her, I'd write it down and stick it in the back of a journal.

These little cards were a real lifesaver as we transitioned into being a family. It's not easy to add an older adopted child into the fold--especially if the're not interested in getting a new family. Our first 18 months could be described at "rocky at best" and then we all somehow started getting along well.

Those days aren't far from anyone's mind--we all remember them, but there's no grudges held--we chalk it all up to family growing pains and some righteous grief from Destiny--which she was totally entitled to.

Anyhow, I thought I'd post here some of these cards that I found--they're a pretty good laugh.

We visited the crab pot in July of 2006 with Destiny, where they bring a crab boil and dump it on Newspaper on your plate to eat for dinner. It includes potatos, corn, mussells, crab legs, clams and whole steamed shrimp.

Destiny was a pretty messy eater, so we knew a messy place would be just the ticket for her.

As soon as the waiter appeared and poured the dish onto the table, Destiny spoke up and made her concerns known. "Don't they know I only eat blind shrimp? These have eyes!"

We Nor'westers eat fruits and veggies different than Destiny had in Florida I think. In June of 2006 we were participating in our local community garden, and after a six-week absense from the garden, we went back to our plot. Down, deep in the weeds we found a tiny zuchinni plant with a tinier zuchinni on it. Destiny shouted "Look dad! A 'Queenie' or whatever it is."

March 16th, a month after joining our family we got a double whammy from Destiny. We had a rain storm and she scraemed and said she doesn't like storms. When I asked why, she said that in Florida "a Tomato storm bashed up all the hosues and turned off all the lights" I'm pretty sure she was talking about tornados.

This is also the day that she asked me if I was ever going to have any babies. I'm not totally opposed to the idea, and not really interested right now either, but she was very concerned. S he asked if "Is that becuase you got your boobs tied?" She went on to explain that someone else she knows had six kids and then finally got her boobs tied. Again, pretty sure this was a mis-hearing... I think she was asking about getting "tubes tied."

Here's one from Rob--he put a yellow card in the mix dated 9-6-07 detailing that he was with Destiny going grocery shopping when the car was rear-ended. Destiny asked what would happen if she were to call 911 without any reason. He explained that there might be a fine or the police might come write a ticket. She asked "Do they look under beds?"

The fair has always been a big deal for Destiny. The day that we met her, her siblings had been taken to the fair, and she'd been taken to the Pizza Hut to meet her new parents. She really feels left out about missing the fair, so in September of 06 we took her to the Puyallup fair. We were in the petting zoo and saw a tiny baby bunny. I said "look how sweet he is!" Destiny responded loudly "He's not sweet--he's MEAT." Half the petting zoo cracked up. The other half was horrified.

Here's one from Rob--4-26-06-- He asked Destiny where Spagetti comes from (wondering if she knew the ethnic origins of food) she replied "From cows?"

In our first few days with Destiny, Rob and I frequently found the need to step aside and compare notes. We called these little talks "conferences" and we'd announce that we're having a two-minute conference and needed privacy. On her second night with us--while we were still in the hotel in Florida, Destiny had a big tantrum and we had her sit on the toilet in the bathroom of the hotel (no good timeout places in hotels)... we heard her mumble to herself "I'm havin' a conference so these guys can't give me anymore timeouts."

A fun conversation with my girls: Reindeer Ghosts.

Melat (4): Mommy, why you and daddy always going to work?

Me: We're going to work to make the money to pay for our nice house and to save some money so you can go to college and get a nice job with nice money and a nice house.

Melat: Yay! I want a nice house. When I have a nice house and my own working I can make my own food, and sleep there and vaccum. (She is her father's child).

Melat: Can Destiny live there?

Me: Destiny is a lot older and likes to live differently than you. She likes messy spaces and you like tidy spaces. I think Destiny might be happier in her own house that she buys with her own money from her nice job.

Destiny (11): I like tidy spaces!! (tone of outrage)

Me: You like them when someone else tidies them.

Melat: Destiny, I will make your house tidy and then we can be together forever.
When Destiny gets big she's going to buy her house and save up big moneies for a bus for a job. When she has her bus you will pay her moneys and I will pay her monies and daddy will go pay moneys and we will all go somewhere.

Me: Where will we go?

Destiny: Los Angeles!

Me: What will we do in Los Angeles?

Melat: We will play on the beach.

Destiny: And see the ghosts.

Me: What ghosts?

Melat: The ghosts of the reindeers.

Oh, of course those ghosts. I forgot about those infamous Los Angeles Reindeer Ghosts. (Sounds like a minor league hockey team name doesn't it?)

For what it's worth, earlier today Melat told me that when she grows up she's going to be a reindeer because she likes snow and she likes Santa Claus.

Now that you've read through my silly stories for the day, here's some quick Halloween photos. We played the big day kinda low key this year due to illness, but we still had fun.

Adoption fundraiser idea

Did you know that you can recycle used electronics for cash?

I was thinking today that this might be a really good adoption fundraiser. A while back I got rid of the drawer of used cell phones and other small electronics... computers, cameras, etc. This company pays CASH for these!

You might be able to have a mobile phone drive and then turn them in to Gazelle for cash!

I sold one phone earlier this year for $53 (a year-old, not very functional smartphone). Check online for the list of electronics that they recycle--it's pretty extensive. They cover shipping, and even send you the cartons, and pay by paypal within a few days. Awesome, easy process, and I'll bet you'll have no trouble getting friends and family to part with their used electronics.

A Melat Funny or Maybe I'm Growing Old

I took Melat with me to a local liquidator store where I buy packages of her pull-ups at a discount because the packages were torn in shipping.

They always have a ton of interesting stuff in there. Resturaunt supplies, snow shovels, dog toys--you name it.

She asks a lot of "what's that" questions. She happened upon a giant bin of cassette tapes and asked me what they were. I told her they were music.

So she picked one up and held it to her ear.

Naturally.

Where do babies come from?

My four year old, Melat, told me tonight that babies grow in mommies' tummies until their fingernails get sharp and then they scratch the mommy's eyes to get out. She knows this because she's having a baby tomorrow. Nice.

Summer Wrapping Up: In Pictures

Where to begin in reporting our summer. It seemed to have flown by. Destiny attended Girl Scout Camp at Saltwater State Park and Church Vacation Bible School. We took a day hike at Mt. Rainier National Park, and the highlight of our summer was a four-day camping trip with friends. Four moms, twenty-four kids, four days. It was a blast.

Also this summer, we had visitors from Ethiopia. The director of WACAP House (Our agency's children's home) came for meetings and we had the opportunity to take him and his colleague to see some of the local sights. It was great to have the opportunity to visit with them both and for them to see Melat's progress, and her continued good health.

Just last week we got excellent news from M's doctor who says that her HIV is not progressing still. It's unclear why this is, and she'll continue to have her maintenance tests, but it's great to see that she's doing so well.

Melat just had her fourth birthday, and recieved a little bit of birthday money. She also gets money for her only "chore" in the house--which is matching socks. She gets $0.25 per load of wash for matching socks.

Boy was I surprised to learn she'd squirreled away $160!

I took her to the bank and she opened her first bank account. She handed the teller her green card, and her money and said "I'm thinkin' about it and I want a bank for my money."


Destiny is celebrating her 11th birthday this month. She's busy getting ready for school to start, and is getting a head start on some of her lessons (she's doing an online-home school program). She was reading her history book and came to me in outrage saying "Mom! I can't believe they have us read this book--people die in it!" (I felt bad that I had to explain to her that in history, everybody dies.).

With Destiny home-schooling now, Melat was pushing back about preschool, so she's staying home now too--and has daily "table time" twice a day--an hour of activities at her little-kid-sized desk.

She sat on the sofa a few days ago with her lacing cards--those little wooden shapes with holes around the edges. She was pulling the shoestring through the holes and said to me "Mom, I don't understand why anybody would do this." Then she put the cards in the box and went on to do something else.

I guess it's a good point. Why would anyone do that? But toddlers aren't supposed to ask.

One Happy Little Girl

Last night, Melat, our littlest daughter, spoke to her grandfather (Jess' dad) for the first time on the phone. He lives far away and the kids haven't met him yet. Now that Melat has been home almost a year and is almost four years old, her English was good enough to have a talk with Grandpa.

He asked her how she's doing. She said "I'm good, I have a mom and a dad and my Destiny now" (Destiny is her big sister's name--our other daughter).

That sentence says so much, doesn't it? We're coming up on one year home for Melat in September. What an amazing year it's been.

If you're interested in helping African Orphans find their forever families--and their "destinies" as the case may be--see http://www.projecthopeful.org or www.ahopeforchildren.org

Coupon code for ink and toner!

We use a lot of ink and toner aruond here because of my businesses. I thought I'd pass this deal on (they're an advertiser on one of my commercial blogs).





Here's the July ink coupon codes.

July Inksmile memeber 10% coupon code: 10OFF0709 for printer ink and toner.

Happy Father's Day

I've looked high and low for the source on this lovely poem, as I would like to give attribution where it is due, but I cannot find it. The author appears to be unknown, but if you know it, please let me know and I will add the attribution. Rob's grandparents sent it to him on his first Father's Day with Destiny home, and I've held on to it because I found it such a great description of him.

God took the strength of a mountain,

The majesty of a tree,

The warmth of a summer sun,

The calm of a quiet sea,

The generous soul of nature,

The comforting arm of night,

The wisdom of the ages,

The power of the eagle's flight,

The joy of a morning in spring,

The faith of a mustard seed,

The patience of eternity,

The depth of a family need,

Then God combined these qualities,

And then there was nothing more to add,

He knew His masterpiece was complete,

And so, He called it - Dad.

Photo: Rob in the Redwood National Forest on our trip to 'Frisco in 2005.

Look who's pedaling now!

Just a quick video of the girls riding bikes. Melat has gotten the hang of the pedals.

Important Activisim Alert from Adoptive Families Magazine

This is reprinted with permission from Adoptive Families Magazine


Dear Readers,
There is a horror film being released on July 24, called Orphan, about a family who adopts an older girl who "is not what she appears to be." The film is currently being promoted, and the trailer is available at http://orphan-movie.warnerbros.com . The adoption message is extremely negative, and plays into the stereotypes of adopted children, particularly older children, as damaged.
Though we have not been able to preview the entire movie, the trailer leads us to believe the movie will send a horrific message about adoption. The adoption community is protesting the release of the film. We urge you to contact the makers of the film, as well as your local movie theater chains, with your concerns. Feel free to copy or adapt the sample letter below.


To whom it may concern:I want to express my outrage about the release of the movie Orphan. The film plays into the stereotype of adopted children as damaged and dangerous. It discourages families from pursuing adoption, particularly adoption of older children, who are especially in need of loving homes. As an adoptive parent, I am horrified by the line in the trailer that "it must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own." Adoption has often been misrepresented in the media, but the previews for this film are unbelievably offensive. I urge you to change the promotional materials, and to consider holding the release of the film altogether.

Contact information:

Warner Bros.4000 Warner Blvd.Burbank, CA 91522818-954-6000

Silver Pictures4000 Warner Blvd. 90Burbank, CA 91522-0001818-954-4490

Time Warner Inc.One Time Warner CenterNew York, NY 10019-8016212-484-8000

Thank you for your support.The editors of Adoptive Families

Adoption Tax Credit

I recently sent a message to my State Congressional Representative asking him to ensure that the Adoption Tax Credit becomes part of the permenant tax code.

This tax credit helps to reimburse families for the legal costs of adoption by reducing their tax burden. We have benefitted greatly from this credit in both of our adoptions and without it I do not believe that we could have adopted our girls.

I'm posting the Congressman's reply here, to help spread the word that the congressional officials need to hear how important this tax credit is, even though it is used by only a very, very small portion of society.


May 21, 2009

Dear Jessica,

Thank you for contacting me in support of H.R. 213, the Adoption Tax Relief Guarantee of 2009. I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts with me on this important issue.

As you may know, the federal government provides assistance for the adoption of children through federal grants to states, and through the tax code. Although federal assistance programs for adoption focus primarily on children adopted out of foster care, federal adoption tax provisions are available for all adoptions (except for adoptions of step-children).

Congress created federal tax assistance for adoption through the enactment of the Small Business and Job Protection Act of 1996. This Act added tax incentives for adoption to the existing federal adoption assistance grant programs by creating a tax credit and an income tax exclusion of up to $5,000 per adoption and $6,000 per adoption of a special needs child. The Economic Growth and Tax Relief Reconciliation Act of 2001 provided an increase in qualified expenses for the credit and the income tax exclusion to $10,000 (indexed for inflation), but also included a sunset period. Beginning in 2011, the prior law limits of $5,000 and $6,000 will become effective again unless extended in new legislation.

The tax credit and the income tax exclusion significantly limit who may benefit from the tax provisions. Both provisions are subject to a phase-out rule which creates an income cap, and puts in place a minimum income level on the use of the tax credit. As a result, in tax year 2004, very few families with an adjusted gross income of less than $25,000, or with an adjusted gross income of $200,000 or more, claimed the credit. In tax year 2004, approximately 71,100 tax returns, or .05% of all tax returns, included a claim for the adoption tax credit, with a total credit value claimed of $301.9 million.

Currently, H.R. 213 is under review in the House Committee on Ways and Means. While I do not sit on this committee, I look forward to learning more about this legislation through committee hearings and reports. Please be assured that as tax legislation is introduced and debate this Congress, I will keep your strong support for H.R. 213 in mind.

Again, thank you for sharing your concerns on this issue with me. Please, do not hesitate to contact me on this or other issues that may arise.

Sincerely,
Adam Smith
Member of Congress

AS:sm

If you'd like to receive occasional e-mail updates from my office, please visit my website to sign up - http://www.house.gov/adamsmith/IMA/newsletter.shtml.Sincerely,Adam SmithMember of Congress

Ethiopia Mommy

This is an old photo of M, taken about 18 months ago in Ethiopia in the orphanage. She'd been there about 8 months. I think that her birthmom visited her while she was there.

Recently, Melat has been talking about her "blue" mommy and daddy, and thinks that the man who lives in the condo behind us is her "blue daddy" she's just learning her colors in English, so we know this means her brown/Ethiopian dad.

I've not been sure how to respond to her or how to reassure her that they're still there, but she's with us for now. I Wasn't sure how to get her to stop thinking all brown people are her parents, or to stop being afraid each time we're around Ethiopian people that they'll be taking her back to Ethiopia, away from her family here.

She knows that in Ethiopia she had "brown parents." Her mom is still alive there, and while we tried to meet several times in Ethiopia, we sadly were never able to meet one another, which breaks my heart.

Yesterday, I recieved a phone call from our adoption agency's coordinator saying "good news!" She was calling to let me know that she'd recieved some photos of M's birth-mom, and would we like them? OF COURSE!!!

This dear woman who gave her only daughter to us--for reasons that we believe to be M's needing more advanced medical treatment here in the USA for her HIV.

I'm not posting mom's photo here, because I don't want to sacrifice her privacy, but I was stunned. She looks just like I imagine M will at about 16 or 17 years old, only perhaps, skinnier. With M's little "buddah belly" and appetite, it's hard to imagine her ever being so tiny as her mother in Ethiopia.

She's lovely, and shares the same beautiful hair texture (though it was all braided), and even has the same droopy left eyelid! She has a slightly darker complexion. One could easily pick her out of a crowd as M's mom, especially when side-by-side with the photo above.

I don't know why she decided to come in for her photo to be taken with our agency's rep in Ethiopia. Perhaps she's recieved the care package of photos and artwork?

I've started scanning photos and artwork from M and putting them into Shutterfly albums to send to Ethiopia.

I do hope that some day both Melat and I will be able to meet her. I want to hug her and to thank her and to assure her that we're not judging her choice, and that we're caring for her daughter as she would want us to.

I'm working on a letter to send with our next care package and hoping to have a friend translate it for us. Now, if I can just put words to what I want to say. Sometimes I think, words just aren't good enough, which is why last time I wimped out and sent only photos.

Two Quick Things from Jessica

I usually try to keep this blog pretty focused on the kids, but I thought I'd post these two quick things from my other Web sites.

1. Many of my friends know I'm a prolific reader and often ask me "what are you reading now?" I've started keeping a list online at http://www.jessicaward.me/?page_id=157 (my freelancing site) about what I've read this year with ratings and short-short reviews. If you like audio books, there's recommendations for good ones as well as a coupon for two freebies!

2. At www.pennywisefamily.blogspot.com I'm hosting a "get out of debt" contest with a $100 prize. The contest is to show me the most creative destruction of your credit cards (they're so pretty.. they shouldn't just get paper-shredded and put out with the old coffee grounds and yogurt cups right? We can do better--I'm looking for a creative entry, which will win $100.

All the best,
Jess

M is a Rockstar

Traveling with Melat is a LOT like traveling with a celebrity, except she gets carsick if she goes more than 10 minutes in the car. ("Uh mommy, I barf.")

Today we had to run out for cat litter, and since we buy a designer cat litter (it really is *that* good) we have to go to the pet store which is 9.5 minutes away, so M would like to go. We also wanted a quick stop at the library for some new cardboard books to throw at her sister. (shall have to tackle that little behavior issue separately).

We went to the cat litter store, and then I took her out for a sandwich at Panera bakery. It was a nice day, and we split our sandwich and chatted (she's a pretty good conversationalist).

When it was time to leave, she leaped out the front door, and did a grand, dramatic bow to the patio diners and announced:

"Goodbye Everyone! Now it is time for me to go take a nap!"

Everyone laughed, and some managed to say back to her "Have a good nap sweetie!"

Sometimes people are so cool.

Happy Mother's Day

Melat is confused about the whole Mother's Day thing. She keeps talking about "The Mother's Day Foot" Rob is thinking this is a distant relative of The Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and Uncle Sam. She has kept the mother's day gifts she was planning to give me and says she's saving them for "the foot." We're all befuddled, but figure it will work out later.

Every day is an adventure with our kids. :) I love being "mom" even if I'm not as cool as a foot.
-Jess

I Know His Name!

Melat's latest game is to match people's names with them. She askes me everywhere "What's him name?" (She hasn't mastered gender-specific pronouns).

Today we were in an ice cream shop and she pointed at an old man and shouted "Momma! I know him name!!! His name is Grandpa!"

The whole ice cream shop cracked up. Oh dear.

World Aids Orphans Day

Did today pass you by without you knowing that today is World Aids Orphans Day? Today I hugged an orphan. Maybe you’d say she is a former orphan. Now she’s my daughter.

It was a day of interesting juxtapositions. I was asked to discuss HIV+ adoption with another family who is wondering if it could be right to them. The first question was “why shouldn’t we do this?” I’m afraid I’m the wrong person to ask. I can't think of any reason not to adopt a child simply because of his or her HIV/AIDS status (except possibly if you don't have medical insurance?)

You see, there’s only four days a year that I really have to think about my daughter’s HIV+ diagnosis. The four days that she goes in for her blood draws. It just so happened that today was one of those days.

Today was the day I hold down the arm of my sweet baby as she screams and shakes and wails, raining tears and snot everywhere to get her one needle stick to have her blood drawn. I always feel like a bad mommy for letting them do it, but I know it must be done. They make it nearly painless too. The lab was so fast we had results today. It’s that easy. Her “trajectory” (overall health) continues to improve without medication. This isn’t expected to be a long-term pattern, but it’s a sign that her HIV condition isn’t going to be a big factor in her life for a long time.

We’re so lucky, but I ache for her birth mom, who is still alive. So oppressed by the stigma of HIV/AIDS that she did not feel she could seek HIV treatment during her pregnancy, or for her daughter at home. I wish that she could be part of our family too. That we could call and let her know that everything is OK, that her daughter is healthy and strong and wonderful. Our agency found her, and we'll be sending pictures, but that's not enough. I know it isn't.

If I could do any one thing for World AIDS Orphan Day, it would be to help break down the stigma about HIV/AIDS that would enable more parents with HIV and AIDS could receive medication and care and continue to parent their kids without fear of reprisal.

Today, I sat in the Infectious Disease Clinic on World Aids Orphans Day. It felt ironic, or wrong, but I couldn't tell which. It seems like they should take the day off or something. Like it should be a holiday, or like a holiday should be created in recognition of the docs and scientists that heal our kids. But there's no time for time off.

I wish I could do something more for the kids left behind. Adopting another isn’t a possibility right now, but we’ve started sponsoring an AHOPE child. Maybe our little bit of pitching in will be enough to allow them to extend services to another child who's home with his/her parents, or who needs care at the AHOPE building.

I think the role that I can play right now is to continue to use my writing as a way to reach out to other families like the family I spoke with today, or the family I emailed with yesterday. It isn’t hard to parent a child with HIV. No harder in my experience than any other child.

We don’t fear her condition. We haven’t experienced negativity from our community. Our family is perfectly accepting. Even if these things weren't true, we wouldn't have changed our minds about Melat and we wouldn't regret it. She's a perfect component in our family.

Don't get me wrong, I don’t for a second believe that adoption will cure the epidemic of orphans left in the wake of the AIDS epidemic, but it can't hurt, can it? In many countries, there aren't enough medication options to provide a great quality of life for kids who have HIV and AIDS.

I’ve not felt well this week and haven’t been writing much at all, but I get to my computer and try to clear out the email and the RSS reader, and I’ve seen some great posts about World Aids Orphans Day, so rather than waxing poetic in a coffee-induced trance, I’d like to share with you some really great writing from others.

Mother’s Day Perspective from Julie Barclay (AKA “Noah’s mom)


The Twietmeyer Family and some great Project Hopeful gear. http://www.twietconfetti.blogspot.com/

Full House, Full Hands, Full House by Erin

Hilarious Mother's Day Video

My friend Tracy sent me this today. It made me laugh so hard I cried. Today, I did not feel like supermom. I've been fighting a terrible ear infection--so bad I'm going to see an ENT tomorrow morning to see if my eardrum can be repaired. I sat in the Hospital today with M for her quarterly blood draw, and felt like the worst mom ever for holding her arm down while they drew blood for her test, and I wasn't even terribly sympathetic because my ear hurt so bad I was cranky through and through. Thank goodness for the forgiveness of children. One blue ice-cream cone which was promptly painted throughout the interior of my car--seemed to clear things up and we're cool again.

Anyhow, here's the cute video. I hope you get a good laugh out of it.
http://news.cnnbcvideo.com/?nid=Aaag_NBTvN3YdDOHO60mBTU1MjI1&referred_by=5943201-lsrVUIx&p=hchw

Fascinating Free Book

Terrorist to Evangelist: The True Story of Kenneth McClinton by Brent Riggs


Born into poverty, an abusive alcoholic father, state-run homes, violence, prison, political turmoil... Ken McClinton was born to lose. But all alone in a prison cell, he found the God who never gives up, and was born again. From childhood to terrorism to murder to prison to salvation, this is the real story of a real terrorist rescued by a real Savior. Please, tell your friends and family about this absolutely FREE story of remarkable hope. http://www.terroristtoevangelist.com/

Seattle's Child

If you arrived here by way of the Seattle's Child article, thanks for visiting, I'm glad you came.

If you're looking for more resources about adopting a child with HIV/AIDS or adopting from Ethiopia, we haven't written much on that recently, so use the search bar at the top left of the screen for your search terms, or leave me a comment, and I'll reply by post or email. I'm happy to be a resource for any family.

I cannot say enough good things about the care that our daughter recieved in Ethiopia. Ethiopians truly care for children and treat the children very, very well. It's a wonderful, respectful culture that matches our family's values well, so we are happy to embrace and teach our kids about this wonderful country.

We participate in local Ethiopian cultural activities including dance, and cooking classes. Also, our little girl who is Orthodox (we are Lutheran) likes to watch Orthodox masses on YouTube. (How cool is that?)

Thanks again for visiting, jump in the discussion or send me an email anytime.

Here are a few posts you might like to see to get the "whirlwind tour" of our family.


2nd Child
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/12/first-thanksgiving.html
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/11/update-on-life-at-our-house.html
Big sister trying to get out of a little sister

HIV/AIDS
TV Show: Facing Life Head On
The Plight of Aids Orphans

Ethiopia Travel Saga (3 weeks of posts)
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/09/from-jessica-recd-9608-330-am.html
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/09/from-jessica-2-recd-9608-330-am.html
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/09/from-jess-recd-91008-10pm-us8am.html
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/09/from-jess-recd-912-10am-our-time.html
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/09/monday-915.html
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/09/melat.html
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/09/t-in-pink-shirt-and-melat-at-meat-shack.html
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/09/sept-15-t-and-melat-at-fruit-stands.html
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/09/tuesday-916.html
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/09/ahhhh-sept-18th-2008.html
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/09/from-jess-91908-friday.html
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/09/yeah.html
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/09/today-was-12-working-days-after-we.html
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/10/video-playing-with-toys.html
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/09/hello-all-mom-ok-to-post-were-on-our.html
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/09/ato-teklu-director-from-agency-is.html
http://jessc098.blogspot.com/2008/09/were-home.html

You know you're a personal finance blogger when...

For those that haven't visited yet, I make a living off my blog at www.thepennywisefamily.com. There's no charges or subscirptions but advertising revenue pays the bills over there.

I realized that perhaps I've been devoting too much of my time that way tonight while I was braiding Destiny's hair.

I asked her what event she'll be running in Thursday's track meet.

She told me she'll be running the 401k.

On a side note, I re-tried her same zig-zag braids today with extensions. Super cute! It was my first real attempt at the plastic hair that adds length to her locks. (She's worn them before, but I've always hired professionals to do it at the cost of $20-$40/week) I did it tonight in one and a half hours for $3.00.

Finally mastered cornrowing!

I've finally gotten the hair rhythm down. The kids get a shampoo and braiding on Sundays and Wednesdays. I did this cool style on Destiny last night (we didn't get to our regular Sunday time).

She LOVES these braids. She'd wanted "zig zags" but I was afraid of how long it might take me to do that. I still have to be pretty careful about parting everything in advance.

Instead, we set a zig-zag part and then braided cornrows from there.

4th Grade Play: Treasure Island

If I get any play footage with my video camera, I'll post some here, but I overheard this at our dinner table today and had to post it.

4th grade play is the pirate story "Treasure Island" Destiny told Rob she'll be scrubbing the floor in the play. Rob said "swabbing the deck?" She said "no dad! cleaning the floor" He explained that the deck is the sailor term for floor on a boat.

She said "that's ok, we don't have a boat." He asked "what are you pirates sailing in this play?" Answer.."duh, a stage. Geeze Dad. It's a play."

Easter Weekend With the Wards

Today is the 2nd day of our church's three-day prayer vigil. Members take turns as hosts for two hours, or "prayers" for one hour.

I signed up to host for two hours during Melat's nap time, and Decided to take Destiny along with me to learn a little bit more about the Easter story (sans pink chocolate bunnies).


Both our girls are being baptized this summer, on July 12th, and we're teaching Destiny, especially about learning to walk with God and listen for God. Instead of doing Easter baskets this year, I wanted to give the girls prayer beads, and I wanted to teach Destiny the "stations of the cross" prayers. If she has the same attention difficulties that I do, prayer is an invitation for distraction. I learned a few years ago about using Prayer Beads to stay focused.


During our hosting time, we were to keep the doors open of the church for everyone who wanted to come pray, and ensure that the candles stayed lit. In general, a pretty dull two hours.


I read Destiny the stories of the Stations of the cross, and then drew a 15-square grid for her to draw what it meant to her. I wrote a relevant prayer in each box for her.


After she was done, I took a look at her work of art. The exercise of drawing the story made it so much more real for her. Here's a photo of her drawing:

I thought her to pray the stations with the rosary, and wouldn't you know, the designated pray-er for the church had to leave early, so I invited Destiny to light a candle and go into the sanctuary and pray the stations there until the next person arrived.

She did it and said it was a very interesting experience. I gave her a little red Rosary as her Easter gift. I'm not sure how much sank in, but I'm confident it was good preparation for tomorrow's Easter church service.

When I picked up Destiny's rosary, I also picked up a little wooden "my first rosary" for Melat. Since she was born Orthodox, I thought she might be expected to bring one when we visit Orthodox services.

She was thrilled when she opened it and said "I know this mom!" She ran to the computer and wanted me to put on the Orthodox church (she likes to watch this on YouTube, on the Internet).

She wrapped her rosary around her wrist, swayed in the chair and sang to the church music. Then she wanted to show me how to do it. She watched it for a long time and then stopped for lunch, and watched more.

Here are photos of both girls after our pre-Easter celebrations. Looking forward to tomorrow's service, and lunch with Rob's family and my mom and sisters at Gramma Pat's house.

Happy Easter to All! He is risen, risen indeed!

Got Our AHOPE Gear

World AIDS Orphans Day is May 7th. Interesting that it should occur on the Friday before Mother's day. I can't help but wonder if that's no conincidence?

We ordered AHOPE shirts to honor those who've lost their parents, and to support this wonderful cause.

I'm sharing this info because the quality of these shirts is really great! I wasn't expecting this from a fundraiser item, especially considering their low price. They look wonderful and we get compliments everywhere we go with them on. I'm actually going to order another one. (I didn't order one for Rob and he's told me he'll be stealing mine).

Hugs and prayers for all the children who are waiting for their second parents.

Another publication you might like

I wanted you to know about this publication I’m a part of called Serious.Life Magazine. They just published a new issue today, and I am in their Featured Blog Directory. It’s a very high quality magazine… you’ll really like it.
The magazine includes a lot of great content from bloggers you’ll appreciate, as well as great features, photos and other content. The magazine is owned and published by a family who have seven kids, three adopted and one who has Leukemia (http://www.riggsfamilyblog.com/). The magazine gives away a bunch of ads to charities and ministries. Besides great articles on interesting people, there is a lot about family, adoption, personal finance, spiritual life, humor… all sorts of “life” topics.
Again, the subscription is FREE, and I know you’ll enjoy the magazine, so take a minute to check it out and sign up to get future issues. http://www.seriouslifemagazine.com/

Going for a walk--Destiny Style

Destiny has a knack...for making practically any situation both comical and uncomfortable simultaneously.

Melat has a knack for charming the living daylights out of even the most grumpy sort.

Tonight we were going for a pleasant family walk around our neighborhood. Destiny was pushing Melat in a stroller, and Melat was charming oncoming foot traffic to an almost embarassing point. She had convinced each passerby to "high five" her on the way by, by the time they approached.

One curmudgenly looking fellow was walking towards us in a straight section of sidewalk, so she'd worked him up to a high five at least 100 feet in advance.

Sure enough, like all the rest, he high-fived her right on que.

Destiny replied (very) loudly "GAWD MELAT, DON'T YOU KNOW SOME PEOPLE DON'T WASH THEIR HANDS?!?"

*Blush* What's a parent to do?

I do hope this fellow thought "now there goes some parents who've done a swell job raising their child to understand the hazards of germs.

Jesus Loves to Eat Injera

Melat loves bedtime songs. She always asks for "Jesus Loves the Little Children" but she's always kind of mumbled the words together "Jesuslovestoshweoihewioht"

I've finally determined what she's saying... she thinks the song is "Jesus Loves to Eat Injera."

Well, it's all logical enough.

I'm Going to Fund Adoption Loans

I've been investing with Lending Club alittle while, but I've decided that when I invest more I'm going to invest in adoption loans only. There aren't any awaiting funding right now--so if you're looking for adoption money and are planning to take out a loan, check them out and let me know if you decide to apply, because I'll contribute to funding your loan!

I wish I'd known about this when we adopted last time. We put travel on a credit card, but LC has rates under 8%.

A shout-out to our school district friends

So this silly little blog about our family gets a LOT of traffic. I was puzzled about that fact until Rob's dad Rick mentioned how he shares the blog with his friends at Bethel School District. My Mom also shares with her friends at Eatonville District.

Just wanted to say hello to all the "extended" family and let you know that don't feel like you just have to lurk. Jump into discussions, share ideas/advice/questions. It's totally ok.

I have another blog on thrifty living (we're getting very creative about that these days due to my layoff and entrepreneural goals). That blog is located at www.pennywisefamily.blogspot.com. Stop by, check it out, say hi and join the discussion--please! That's what makes blogging so fun. If I wanted to make notes for myself I'd just write them in my journal. (Nobody corrects my spelling there though). Thanks for visiting us!

More cute kid photos

Thanks Sarah (my sister) for these great photos of our family!
Jessica

Some new photos of the kids.

Thanks Sarah for taking some photos of us earlier this week. We wanted some new photos of Melat for a photo album that's going to Ethiopia this week to Melat's caregivers.

Five great money-saving resources on the web!

I’ve been trying to make the best of the permanent layoff that came my way in early December. I started a business, I’m also writing and blogging. Without commute time I find myself with a lot of free time. I’m definitely enjoying the flexible lifestyle.

One of the things I’ve decided to tackle is households’ financial situation. This was especially critical now in the face of my less-than-reliable income and a new business startup. As an “under-30” family of four, we have some debt. A couple of college educations, a mortgage, two adoptions that zapped our finances but filled our hearts, and a whole lotta car repairs. We weren’t in financial peril, but we sure could have been if we weren’t paying attention when the layoff hit.

The surprise in this project was how we were able to cut our household expenditures by one-third without really trying (or even noticing, for that matter).

Armed with this new information (and cash as a result!), we rushed forth and started getting out of debt. Using only free resources from the Web and strict budgeting, we’ve paid off two of three credit cards, one adoption loan and all of the college loan. Woot! Not bad for three months, huh?

Recognizing that not everyone was so lucky as I to be laid off, I thought I’d share some time-saving and free tips to financial freedom. No scams, no catches, no hidden spam-engine. And you don't have to download my free e-book. I don't even have one.

Have fun, save money, spend less, retire early, and get out of debt. It’s working for us. Unless you email me, you’ll never even hear from me again. (Unless we’re friends or family of course). For the sake of easy reading, I’m breaking this into several posts. Follow the hyperlinks for a free and easy journey to financial freedom.

But please do me one favor. If you like this list, please pass it on.

Now, my family’s first five free steps to financial freedom.
1. Expense tracking
2. Budgeting/Cost cutting
3. Saving
4. Alternative Investements
5. Paying down debt (fast!)

New Year's Resolutions

A few years ago, I'd graduated from college and was living in the cube farm that we call the "rat race" and I was afraid my brain cells were dying.

In an effort to slow the process of my brain turning to mush, my resolution that year (I think it was 2004) was to read two books per week. Any books, just books! Keep growing that brain!

Remarkably, I've kept this resolution fairly well, though never tracked my progress. I'm going to make an attempt to do that this year via Amazon.com. I'll post my results here. I've read a dozen or so books so far this yaer. I'll try to come up with the actual number shortly, and I'll post a link to my Amazon.com "bookshelf" also if you're interested.

I highly recommend setting a reading goal. Far too many people give up reading books after graduation.

Mom--this is America Bathroom, I know

Yesterday we went out to dinner at the neighborhood Greek Place. We love Spiro's Gyros. They're yummy! The kids like the place too, and it's always clean.

I was taking Melat to the bathroom for the umpteenth time (she had a tummy ache I think) As she sat parked on the John, she was counting--one, two, three. She was couting the "papers" being the seat liners, hand towels, and the toilet paper.

She pensively said "Mommy, I know this is America Bathroom." I said "Oh really?"

"Yes mommy" she said "America three papers in Bathroom. Ethiopia bathroom has NO PAPERS!"

I couldn't help but chuckle--I remember desperate times during our travel searching for "appropriate" paper--even the US Embassay in Ethiopia didn't have toilet paper in the bathrooms. (I thought really hard about those unused visa papers in my passport, let me tell you!).

Anyhow, had to share that story for others who may be traveling. Pack your own TP!
jessica

Work-from-Home success!

Many of you know that back in early December I was laid off from my regular job. This truly was a blessing in disquise. I've spent more time with the kids over the holidays, and I tried something I've always wanted to do. I started a business. The first day after my layoff, I filed my business license for "A Notary Now" which is a mobile notary service. I was profitable in four weeks.

I'd planned to do the mobile notary thing while looking for another 9-5 type job, but in all of my free time, I remembered how much I used to love writing (in the years B.C.--before children). Rob suggested that since we didn't need to have two full-time incomes, that I pursue writing and my mobile notary work as my full time occupation.

Six weeks later, I already have regular freelance writing projects, and my online identity at www.jessicaward.me.

I'm having the time of my life, and not sacrificing anything for it. Why didn't I do this sooner? Fear perhaps.

I'm pulling more weight around the house. Now six weeks later, my kids no longer ask "Does dad know you're cooking?" when they discover me in the kitchen. They were even terribly impressed with a spagetti casserole that I "invented" from leftovers.

My only gripe about working at home is that I do have the worst secretary that I've ever experienced. Arthur, Destiny's orange tabby cat has become my work at home sidekick. The highlight of his day is printing time. He sits by the edge of the printer and tackles all forms of manuscript that erupt forth. He files badly, but types worse, but his occaional scolding glare (which I'm sure is his way of telling me "get back to work") when my mind wanders is worth its weight in kibble.

When I work from my cozy "thinking chair" (Great Grandma Dever's old swivel rocker) he perches on the back of the chair and keeps me on task. He likes it when I sit there becuase if he sits on the back of the chair when nobody is in it, it tips over.

He's my deadweight and I'm his. At least it's company during the long quiet days at home when Rob sleeps and kids learn at school.

Yesterday Destiny and I assembled and mailed my marketing postcards for my notary business. 250 of them in all--I've already gotten phone calls about them. God Bless the USPS! Today I'm going to update my Web pages and blogs (you can also find me at www.pennywisefamily.blogspot.com where I write a family finance blog). Take care!