Happy Holidays from the Wards

http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/HuSjGZrS5jYWCiIPqwki

See the link above for our Xmas greeting. Be sure to turn up your speakers (especially if you're at work). :)

We're encountering our first 'blizzard' the likes of which I haven't seen since the early 1990s.

The kids and I haven't left the house since Tuesday. Rob's working two days on with one day off (where he sleeps and then spends hours trying to get back to work to work two or three more shifts because so many people are having a hard time getting to work where he works).

We were getting stir crazy, so today we walked to the Kent Valley Ice Center for a hamburger. While there, we ran into my good friend Joan (a hockey friend) who invited our kids to have photos with "hockey Santa." Now mind you, today is braid day. I'd just undone the kids hair and poor Destiny looked like a troll doll, but we wanted to go eat before we got started on hair. Anyhow, we were convinced to have the kids' photos taken with Santa (perfect now that I see the weather forecast, there is no way we'd be able to get the kids out to see Santa before Xmas).

Melat saw Santa and freaked out screaming "NO COCA COLA" (She confuses Santa Claus and Coca Cola for some reason). I ended up in the photo because I had to hold screaming little Melat into it. "Santa" in an effort to help Destiny to calm her sister, pulled down his beard and said "see, I'm just a regular guy, tell her not to be afraid." Destiny says "never mind, and backs out of the sled, now also tearing up at the thought that Santa was not in fact Santa, but a fraud, and "just a regular guy." Her worst fears confirmed. Santa may just be dad.

Now poor "Santa" is totally perplexed, why are both kids upset? Well, Melat has never seen a guy with a white beard like that, and just barely understands the whole American Christmas thing, and Destiny truly believed in Santa Claus and he just dashed her faith. Now, in Santa's defense, what kind of five foot tall kid still believes in Santa? Well, mine did. I was thinking this might be the year to explain, but I was going to just put it on my calendar and explain it around Valentine's day. She's had a lot of other disappointments in her life the past couple of years and taking Santa away never seemed like a good idea.

Well, this fairly hilarious photo resulted. We all look kind of like snowmen because for the one-mile walk to eat lunch in an ice rink we dressed in layers. Santa gave the kids oranges and candy canes, for which both kids were very thankful, and we all had a delightful afternoon break.

Thanks Joan and "Hockey Santa" for the excitement. :)

Over lunch, I explained to Melat how Santa's a nice guy.... and then double-checked myself realizing that Santa does his primary business by breaking and entering to six billion homes in one night... but perhaps I'm over thinking this?

Merry Christmas All!

I dare you....

To watch this to the end.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJmRPdogf7U

Taking the plunge

So as I posted before, Thursday I lost my job. The economy has hit the construction industry especially hard, so while I was surprised, it wasn't exactly shocked.

This may be the answer to my prayers. Ever since becoming a parent, I've wondered how I can be the kind of parent I want to be (like my parents were) and yet have a job or career at the same time. I'd especially like to be self-employed, though if I find the right job with the right company I wouldn't complain either.

We're not in dire straights and can make it for a good long while without the 2nd income, it was really more about meeting our charitable goals and college savings for the kids, and less about meeting day-to-day expenses.

While I'm still looking for a possible "perfect job" I have decided to take the plunge and follow my parent's entrepreneural footsteps. I applied for a business liscence and now am the sole-proprieter of "A Notary Now!" a mobile notary company.

I've been a notary for several years, but I've never charged anyone for my services. I'm also planning to do some freelance writing (I've done this before and *loved* it!). I'm also going to be volunteering more--with my kids' school, and within the adoption community.

Cross your fingers for me for some good notary business. I'll be doing a lot of financial, adoption and construction type documents, so if you know anyone in these industries, please direct them my way.

Now What?

So the economy has gotten to us. Today I was laid off from the company I've worked for for three years. I'm pretty bummed by that because I loved the company and will miss my colleagues, but feel liberated to now find the "right" job for me, as that one wasn't seeming like it fit. The opportunities for advancement that I had gone to that position for disappeared when the economy started going south, and what could have been a career was becoming a job.

I'm going to spend some time this weekend and next week determining my next strategy... do the "stay at home mom" thing (which has kind of been on my "wish list" but moving to one income-- while doable --seems scary to me). I could start my own business (I've had an idea in the back of my mind for a year now), or I could try to find another construction industry job or find something entirely different.

Alternatively, I could go back to school. That liberal arts degree hasn't exactly been bringin' home the bacon (a word to poly-sci majors....). Perhaps I could go back to that college aptitude test and become a mortitian? Now there's a job with room for advancement, easy customers and in a growth industry.

Anyhow, that's the latest--I'm currently jobless (unless I take the company's offer of a 20 hour per week position through the end of the year, which likely won't pay our childcare costs).

The kids are good--they're getting excited for the holidays. Tomorrow night I'm taking Destiny to a play at a local church and Sunday I'm taking both kids to the Langston Hughes "Black Nativity" which is a gospel production that I've wanted to see for years. Thursday we're going to the Nutcracker. The next few weeks will be a blizzard of activity.

Well, that's my story for now--I'll update as I have more ideas.

First thanksgiving

It was our first thanksgiving with Melat, and I think she gets the program. Eat a lot, play a lot, and visit with everyone. She seems ok with that so long as someone passes her the meat in a hurry. (Boy this kid can eat!).

Destiny LOVES thanskgiving. I remember her first thanskgiving with us three years ago, she woke me up at 3:00 AM saying "mom--i can't smell the turkey--do you think it is here?" I shouted "NO! It's stuck in the chimney with the easter bunny!! Now go back to bed!!!!" Grandma was cooking the turkey that year...at her house.

Thanksgiving is nice for Destiny because it's relatively the same for all American families (though I've since remembered that we forgot to have collard greens for Destiny, which she always looks forward to).

I think with Melat the honeymoon is over. She's let out her full three-year old fussy, tantrumy self. It's not too awful, but it's really wearing on Destiny hard, and Destiny is also expressing her full, tantrummy self. (Which in turn, is really wearing on mommy). We know from experience that This too shall pass.

You'll recall that in our attempt to teach Melat her new name (Melat Elizabeth) Destiny somehow managed to teach her that her name is "Melat Garbage." which she still seems to believe (I thought it was cured, but she introduced herself to everyone at thanksgiving as Melat garbage.

I've since decided that since Destiny so likes garbage, taking out the trash shall be her chore until Melat learns her new name.... and despite Destiny's very best efforts at re-teaching, she's not getting anywhere. Melat idolizes Destiny. She's so cool that poor Destiny can't even pee with peace. If Melat hasn't snuck into the bathroom somehow, she haunts outside the door and provides the play-by-play. Poor Destiny! She doesnt' really want to be separated (she turns downs offers for a weekend vacation at grandma's or an evening out with mom) but she is obviously a little chafed by her barnacle of a little sister, and it doesn't help that the house is small, so we're all a little underfoot of each other now.

Needless to say, there's the constant "she hit me" or "she told me to stop it" (even when no crime has been committed by either party). It truly is constant.

By the way, mom, I'm sorry for every stupid fight I ever picked with Sarah--I know I deserve this, but this is SO not fun.

We're planning to put the condo on the market after January, we're cramped and markets be damned, I need to be able to tell these noisy kids to go outside and play every now and then, and I'm willing to pay the price. We've got to find a house with a yard big enough for two or three bickering kids.

Melat's English is coming along great. There's still some words I can't quite figure out, and she always talks about herself in first person (kind of cute, but I hope she grows out of it before too long). She's being stubborn and onry, but even Destiny is intervening and saying "trust me on this kid--you don't want to mess with them like that."

We put up our holiday decorations this weekend, and Melat seems to think that the Nativity is a dollhouse. I routinely find all of the characters lined up in the "house" or all out, or re-arranged. She thinks that the wise men are carrying coffee cups, which cracks us up. She LOVES the Christmas tree, especially the annual ornaments that have Destiny's school photos.

Melat carries the school photo ornamants around the house, and Arthur (our cat) carries the fuzzy ornaments around the house. Destiny is the only one with the good sense to leave the tree alone.

I apologize for having no photos or video to share. The new computer I bought in July just recently quit working entirely--and had to be returned for waranty repairs... it had all of my photo and video downloads on it. I'm totally bummed. I'm crossing my fingers hoping the problem is waranty work and not that somebody in this house has fed my new computer a peanut butter sandwich.

Well, that's the update for now. we're planning a few holiday outings--I'm thinking of taking Destiny to a play this Friday--we've got Nutcracker tickets with friends next week, and maybe Zoolights (the kids both LOVE the zoo and it's best to do that before it gets butt-cold) and spending time with friends and family.

Update on life at our house

Well, it's getting to be that time of year. Really, a favorite time of year as all of the family events come up--Thanksgiving, Christmas, football games to watch, all of it.

At our house it's a tough time too though. Destiny was adopted as an older child--and as a result holidays bring up a lot of grief and sadness for her. It begins on October 7th every year--her brother's birthday. It's like a fresh wound each year (we were reminiscing recently that this was the first Halloween she's been with us and not grounded). She grieves the loss of her siblings, and she has anxiety about the unknown--what is he doing now, where is he, does he remember her, and does he think she's forgotten him? There's little we can do except be supportive to her and try to give her some space.

Holidays similarly--Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas--even Superbowl Sunday bring up memories of how she's spent those holidays before here. Holidays are an amazingly sentimental time. You remember the good and bad that comes attached with the date.

Melat will have similar grief I think but there's so little here that is at all similar to Ethiopia that I don't think the pain will be as great. (We do see a brief flash of it each time we visit an Ethiopian restaurant though).

Its times like this that I wish I could "fix" it all for my kids, but I know that this is theirs to deal with, and that the very best that I can do is to support them in their grief.

Destiny's been acting out on her grief and her frustration that either A: we're not parenting properly in her opinion or B: the world is entirely unfair to all preteens, most especially her (likely a combination?). We had a long talk today about how she really needed to leave the parenting to the professionals. That while we have simple rules in our house, contrary to her belief, it is *NOT* fair to enforce them all swiftly and to the greatest extent with little sister, who doesn't have the skills or language to absorb all of her worldly expectations at once.

Destiny sees this as a grave injustice and a few times has attempted to take matters into her own hands--which hasn't been working out well for her--further reinforcing that the entire world is completely unfair to all preteens, especially her.

This too shall pass.

We saw a little streak of this subversiveness recently, as we've finally settled on Melat's name after much consideration and debate, shes' been named "Melat Elizabeth" (after Rob's sister, and because it sounds really good when shouted loudly across our condo).

We've been trying to teach Melat her new name, but she doesn't know "Elizabeth." Destiny, preying on this, made the effort to teach Melat (on the sly) that her new name is actually "Melat Garbage." Which Melat was OK with, because she knows the word Garbage.

Eventually, little sister figured out she'd been pranked, big sister spent a little "thinking time" in her room, and mom and dad had to spend a little more time trying to figure out what to do with two kids who are too smart for their own good.

I don't think Destiny meant anything by it other than an opportunity to get a little jab in at little sister who's been stealing the show being just a little too precious. I think Destiny is discovering that perhaps she's "grown out" of cute.

It's an awkward place after growing out of cute while still growing into "mature."

Keep Destiny in your thoughts and prayers as she grows into her "big sister" role. We've seen her come so far in the past few years that it's sad to see her slip into old insecurities, but we know she'll come back with a little more time to get used to things. (It's only been a month after all).

Great video about HIV adoption

This is a TV show called "Facing Life Head On" and outlines what it's like to adopt HIV+ children. It's really beautiful. Carolyn is an aquaintance of mine via the adoption blogs. She's also the first person who was able to bring us a photo of Melat smiling while she was at AHOPE. While Carolyn was at AHOPE with one of her kids, she spent some time playing and hugging on Melat for which we're eternally grateful!

Amazing Story

Have you seen this amazing story? It comes with interesting timing--at the same time as the death of Dr. Micahel Chriton (one of the best novelists of all time, and the author of Jurrassic Park). The link is here it's about how a mouse, dead and frozen for 16 years has been successfully cloned. Now scientists want to try it with a mammoth.

Rob and I were talking about this, and he brought up a point perhaps only Rob could think of (What the &%#&#)* will they artificially inseminate with a mammoth?) Nobody wants to carry a mammoth... that's why there was never a Mrs. Snuffleufagus.

Missing Ethiopia

This daylight savings time thing is for the birds....

For us Northwesterners the winter (the part of the year between September and July) is just too long and dark. I realized this thinkinig about how bright Ethiopia was all the time. When I started thining about it (driving home today in the dark at 4:30PM), I realized that it being on the Equator has normal daylight year round, and being at such high elevation, while it still gets hot, doesn't get crazy hot like so many other parts of Africa....

Sunshine---nature's antidepressant.

Guess Who?

Solo photos

Just in case the school photos don't turn out well--I grabbed some candids in an Oak Tree at the Roy city park.

Modeling Haloween Costumes

Photos

The girls picking out pumpkins mid-October.

An important adoption story

My Ethiopia Photos

Here's the photos that I'm allowed to post from Ethiopia.

As I get more, I'll include them here. Many of my photos were taken in orphanges. For the privacy of the children and their families and in accordance with some orphanages photo rules, I will not post those, but I must say that playing with the kids was the highlight of this trip, even in spite of the beautiful surroundings and wildlife.

Perspectives from Ethiopia: Construction Standards

Since my first day in Ethiopia I've had this post in mind, but not the energy of wherewithall to write it. Now that I'm home, I'm going to take a stab at it. This one is for my friends and colleagues at work at Nuprecon. Nuprecon has been my professional home now for around three years. It's one of the biggest and best building demolition companies in the country and safety is a very important part of the culture there.

When I arrived in Ethiopia, I had some difficulty being able to discern the construction projects from the demolition projects, and that got me thinking about my friends back at home. Everyone in the construction industry is aware of the possibilities for industrial accidents, and we have OSHA and WISHA and multiple training and education resources to guard against having to make that terrible phone call back to someone's family--to let them know that their loved one is injured on a job site--or worse.

I couldn't believe how hazardous these job sites looked. The scaffoldings made of sticks (Only once did we see proper steel scaffolds), there's no shoring, there's people digging in the soft ground in holes and ditches neck-deep.

Most buildings are either concrete (sand and water really, it's not a proper concrete--it's more flaky), or corrugated tin--I usually think of this as like a barn roofing material. Concrete is poured by hand by men who climb the stick scafolds and pass pails of concrete fire-brigade style up several stories and then into the forms. Later when the concrete hardens, some "lucky" guy gets the odd job of breaking the metal or wood forms off the concrete and seeing if it stays.

Hard hats aren't worn unless someone is riding a motorcycle, and even then, generally it's hanging on the handlebar for show. Flip flops or barefoot are the norm (by the way, see my earlier posts about how EVERYTHING is slippery!). Tie offs or harnesses--not hardly. I didn't see them--anywhere.

I'm attaching here a few photos, two of a school (white walls and a blue rail), which was really nice--about ten stories of classrooms pretty much straight up, with zig-zag staircases on either end of the long narrow building. There was a large home (not ordinary housing) being built near our guesthouse, and that's on the hillside with the valley in the background. Also, several photos of some governemnt housing projects which have been in process for the past ten years and still aren't complete or even beginning to be occupied. This is an area desperate for affordable housing, and the jobs, but with builidng materials being costly and work being slow, they're doing what they can do.

This is just a reminder to be thankful for all that we have in the science and technology of workplace safety, and to stay alert and don't get hurt. Work safely everyone--I hope that one day too some of these safety measures will reach the Ethiopian construction workforce as well.

Something to think about...

"Sometimes I’d like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world when He could do something about it......

But I’m afraid God might ask me the same question."

-Anonymous

Sisters video

The quality is especially low I'm afraid, but here's some candid video of the girls goofing around in the living room a few days ago. :) Today we made popcorn balls. Initally Melat was disqusted, but after we broke hers up a bit she liked it. She disagrees with practically any foods. For those who are curious the accepted foods are: Bread (Dabo) Bananas (She knows this well enough in English to ask for Bananas) Nutella (chocolate-hazlenut peanut butter stuff) White rice, with NOTHING Macaroni with nothing Popcorn (the kind cooked on the stove, don't even try microwave....) Kim-Chee flavored ramen noodles French Fries Green beans (raw) Any fried meat that you can pass off as "tibs" an Ethiopian dish. Lentils Oatmeal, plain. Cracklin' oat bran She's totally meticulious. She doesnt' loose anything. I think if I gave her 30 grains of rice in the morning and asked her to save them for evening time she'd still have every one of them accounted for even a week later. Yesterday we had a pretty quiet day at home doing as little as possible. Destiny did her chores, and we put up haloween decorations. We went for a walk in the wind, and Melat screeched and screamed every time we didn't have our heads covered with a hat or scarf. We walked along the sidewalk and kicked up leaves (we have great maple trees around here!). She climbed the rope ladder at Pirate Ship Park up about 6.5 feet without difficulty or hesitation to go down the slide. (My nerves are shot!) Well, that's my update for now, I can't believe tomorrow is Monday already. Time flies!

Zzzzzzzz........zzzzzz.....zzzzz

So, bedtime is tough as expected for Melat. She likes to sing songs--Twinkle twinkle, ABCs, Jesus Loves Me, and sometimes she makes up songs in broken English-Amharic mixed up sentences.

The songs were going on a long time, so tonight I decided to turn off the lights, and sing songs and then be as boring as possible, so she'll just fall asleep. (I still have to sit in her room I think---or I'll be battling her in and out of her room all the time, and I don't want to turn bedtime into a scheduled war).

Tonight I sang her three songs: ABCs, "Twinkle Twinkle" and Sweet Violets. (Destiny's request on that last one). Then I tried to sit in the 1/2 size rocking chair, but was too tired to sit still on that tiny little chair, so I curled up on the foot of her bed. She continued playing and singing under her breath little made-up songs, but occasionally put a big fake honking snore in there (for my benefit I think). It was hilarious.

Video: Playing with toys

Here's a video of Melat playing with toys in our room at the guesthouse. This would have been September 6th or 7th.

Update from our house

Today was Melat's first doctor's appointment. Just a "well baby" but since she doesn't come with an owners manual and maintenance checklist, we've got to get her caught up on everything. This meant five or six shots, as well as six vials of blood for testing and evaluation. She was a shaking, screaming, sobbing, snot-covered mess when she was done. The poor baby. I felt so bad for her, and she was so good the whole time. She was sweet, and nice to the doctor and nurses and lab techs and everyone, and we were at the doctor for more than two hours because they called ahead to her specialists so we could "piggyback" their tests into the same blood draw we were doing.


I've stuck a photo in here of Melat in her bed at WACAP House (our agency's transition home--she was there for just four days or so, but it's such a nice place and I know she liked it).

I have a few other posts to write as I'm beginning to process my Ethiopia experience, so watch for the following:
*Ethiopia construction practices (even though it looks like Demolition--this one is for you Dave, Pat and John!)
*The Coffee Ceremony, espresso, and tradition
*Recommended reading (Mother Theresa's biography and Three Cups of Tea)
*Culture (warm, happy babies, exercise, and disciplined living)
*Wedding crashing (I will have to look to see if I've posted on this subject yet or not).

Also, videos coming soon!

We're home!!

I'm going though my photos/video and will post some. We got home around 4pm yesterday (Friday). It's 1AM now and since it's the middle of the African Afternoon, Melat and I are wide awake so I indulged Destiny and let her get up too (Melat woke her up to play with the doll that giggles that Destiny showed her--she loves it!-Thanks Sherrie!)

Melat thinks Destiny is Abesha so pretty much just spoke Amharic to her, but has rapidly gotten the idea that maybe that isn't working (The two of them just sit aroudn saying "What?" to each other.) Melat is exploring the house. Mundionot? she says, and points. "What's this?"

We're struggling with food, she barely ate on the plane. She recognized a box of Mac and cheese in the cupboard, so I'm making that and we gave her a very old banana but she didn't seem to mind. (Finally, someone here who will eat the heavily freckled bananas!).

I wish everyone could have seen her at the Amsterdam Airport with her friend Musee--they learned about drinking fountians, McDonalds, glass elevators, escaltors and moving sidewalks. It was hilarious. I have a video of the two of them using the elevator (up and down, and up and down and up and down). I'll ask his mom if it's OK to post, and when I hear back from her I'll know if I can.

Tigist was a great help to me, and I think she had a good time. For all the worry and doubts about taking a teenager on a homeland visit while doing an adoption, it wasn't a problem for us (By the way, for those not family, the added wrinkle is that Tigist isn't part of our family, she's a friend's teenage daughter). She's very mature, and very patient and good with kids, so she was truly a wonderful traveling companion and translator and baby-watcher in those times when I'd really needed it.

Ethiopia was a great trip--we had so much fun, and I can't wait to go back. Next time maybe just as a tourist? We'd so wanted to see Lallibella and the wildlife parks outside the city, but didn't because we were able to have Melat with us--and at the time of traveling, we thought we'd have to visit her at a transition home, and during the time waiting on the waiver, we'd do the tourist things farther out.

Ato Teklu (the director from the agency) is coming to get us shortly for the airport. We took the morning to pack, repack, and double check everything again. I still can't believe the stuff I've lost on this trip... a pair of cheap flip flops, and my favorite comb...weird? I can't think of where I would have put this sort of thing. Perhaps Melat "helped." with the packing. Either way, no major losses. (Rob, I was able to recover your north face backpack.) The only thing that was problematic was the mobile phone that was stolen--which cost me $100 to replace, but seriously, that's all the pickpocket took--not money, not passports, nothing else.

Tomorrow is Meskel (The Cross Finding Day) and the city is full of sheep again, so everything's running at half speed.

We're ready to go to America--even Melat is ready, she pulled out her favorite dress to wear (even though she fell down the mud-covered steps and had to change into something else). The guesthouse is going to be empty for a little while. They've got volunteers coming soon,
but right now, the adoption courts reopen on Monday, so there will be a lag of a couple of months before families start arriving.

They had a coffee ceremony for us early this morning, and they were so sweet. Tigist has been running around taking photos all day so she doesn't forget anything. She packed some incense that Tigist gave her. I think it looks like crack rocks, so I hope we don't have any trouble
with customs.... (Incense is a very important part of the coffee ceremony). We discovered that her coffee pot that she purchased was cracked, so ran out and got another. I looked again for Amharic children's music, but no luck--it's OK, I've got a nice CD of traditional music that Melat likes a lot (she knows the dances).

Melat wants me to carry her everywhere now. It's too bad this didn't happen earlier--when she was lighter. I'd argue she's doubled her weight since we got her. She completely fills size 3T clothes now (they were hanging on her before). Her little belly sticks out of her
pajamas--and they too are 3T.

She's been all snugly on me at night, it's very sweet---except that she seems to have very sharp corners and I always have an elbow in my neck or an ankle in my ribs. I don't mind though, it sure beats labor.

We weren't able to locate her mom, which makes me sad, but perhaps we can have some kind of correspondence later--I'll send photos of Melat at home, so she can feel reassured.
Well, I should close for now in case she needs a familiar movie to fall asleep to on the airplane.

We'll all see you soon!

Jess

Hello all!!

(mom--OK to post)

We're on our way home! Melat's visa was approved today, but none of the airlines are flying today. We'll leave tomorrow. We're coming home on NWA flight 0033, arriving on Friday (Laura, could I trouble you for a pickup with the super-van since with a cars eat and all of us and our stuff I don't think we'll fit in either of the Ward cars?).

This morning was a bit of a panic. Ato Teklu phoned us and asked us to come to the embassy immediately because we were missing one more paper. Sure enough, I had a critical piece of paper that I hadn't turned it--but did have with me in good condition, and complete--and
he needed us to come right away, so we called a taxi and waited. Then he called again and said, by the way, we need to be there in 25 minutes (we are at least 35 minutes away). Our trusty taxi driver did his best and we arrived just a few minutes late, but the nice people at the Embassy (who I do think are tired of seeing Melat and I and perhaps even Ato Teklu as he's been going straight to the office every day since phone calls aren't very reliable) waited and gave us the Visa. I was so happy, and so relieved.

Last night I had the best dream, I dreamed that I was in the rite aid buying teatree oil for Melat's molluscum, and anti-fungal ointment for the ringworm I've managed to get all over my face. (Skin and scalp fungus's are HUGE problems here in the orphanages, especially this
time of year because everything is so damp).

We tried again to reach Melat's birthmom with no luck. It's sad because she has called and expressed interest in meeting us, and Ivery much would like to meet her but we just haven't been able to connect-we keep missing one another. I know she lives near the airport, so perhaps tomorrow (we're going to go with friends and stay at their guesthouse most of the day tomorrow for the sake of being close to the city before we all have to leave for the airport
together) we'll have a chance.

We look forward to seeing you all very soon!!

Jessica

Today was 12 working days after we filed for our waiver which is required to get Melat's Visa to go to the USA. They are supposed to take 6-10 days. We've been here nearly three weeks now.We went to the embassy today to check on this and discovered that our waiver has been denied because one critical document (a letter stating we are aware of her status and how we intend to manage that) was"absent." Actually, it was not. When I had my interview on 9/8, we were informed that the letter wasn't with our waiver application, so the kind US Embassy Employee gave me a sample and instructed me to make any changes on it, sign it and we'll submit that and be OK. Unfortunately, the person who processed that document, thought it was a draft and threw it away. So today, I had to hand-write the letter (twice, because the first time she didn't like my handwriting) which is a full page long in tiny script at the Embassy and re-submit. It has to go to the states, and then back to Nairobi, and then back to the Embassy, and "maybe in a few days" we can get our visa. I went to the corner of the waiting room and cried until I felt like I could walk again.

Today we had a very, very long day. Two trips to the Embassy, and a brief trip to the textile co-op, where we saw the looms at work. Saturday is the Meskel holiday, so most of the weavers are on vacation, but we learned how the scarves and dresses are made—it was beautiful. These breathtaking scarves that we buy for $5.00 US are two days worth of work for the weavers!! I didn't have my camera with me because of the embassy trips, but I will ask Julie for a few of them because they are wonderful. After the weaver's and both trips to the Embassy, and a brief Ethiopian lunch at Helen's New Flower Guesthouse (which seems very nice for those of you looking for a guesthouse, also very central which I can't say for our Ethiopia Guesthouse—though I don't regret our choice).

We went to AHOPE for Melat's going away party. I can't share photos of this because I don't want to disclose for other families, and it would break their privacy rules, but it was really sweet. They put a beautiful gold dress on Melat (her going away gift) and the kids sat around in a circle singing to her and then candies and cookies were shared by all. We're very optimistic that we may be able to get a visa tomorrow or Wednesday after our last paper has made its rounds. Our flight is scheduled for Thursday, so at the very worst, we should make that, at the very best, we will get out Tuesday night late or Wednesday night late. I'm hoping for Tuesday, but Melat's birth mom has resurfaced and would like to meet us, possibly tomorrow (Tues) more likely Wednesday. I'm torn on staying one more day to meet her, but it's an opportunity that won't arise again, so I'm thinking we need to meet her.

On the plus side, somewhere over the weekend, we turned a corner with Melat. All of a sudden, she likes me. I still get the "shoulder"occasionally but usually just when she's really tired. She talks to me and shows me things and gives me presents and hugs and kisses, and fell asleep watching "WOOSHA" last night leaning on me. It was very sweet. So while I'm very eager to get home, things are slowly beginning to look up. I'm totally devastated about not having the visa today though, I really thought we were going to make it on the flight tonight.

I'm debating checking out of the guesthouse and putting us someplace convenient downtown so we can go ASAP when we get the word. It's a little bit of a hassle out here because we're so far out of town. I'll know more tomorrow after we talk to Ato Teklu about the visa and the meeting with Melat's birth mom.

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We know four AHOPE kids on this trip with families traveling with
similar dates (the other families arrived a few days after us and are
with AAI). We visited AHOPE's guest home today to visit the families
(they aren't allowed to leave per their agency regulations) and the
kids are delightful.

We did find out what is wrong with our visas!! One mom had been in
contact with Project Hopeful and has discovered that all four of these
kids' visas (Melat is one of the kids) had been put on a desk
stateside of a vacationing employee and weren't discovered for a week.

They arrived in Nairobi on Friday, and should arrive in Addis on
Monday or Tuesday. We will be trying to adjust our return to the
earliest possible return flight. If we leave on Monday I will call Rob
with our incoming flight number and arrival time from Denmark, as I
don't think I'll have time between the embassay in the morning and
packing for a hasty retreat to find an international call office here
in Addis.

We have had a really fun weekend. I promised T another day at
Layla House if we were here over another weekend, so today I
delievered. I dropped her and Melat off (Melat likes to go to Layla
but it wears me out because there are SOOOO many kids). They played
there all day, and Adam and Katie and their baby (the only other
guests at the guesthouse) and I went to AHOPE's guesthouse to visit
our friends who started their journey here but were told by AAI that
they could not stay here. AHOPE's guest home seemed like a very nice
building with no amenities--go out and get your own food, and bottled
water, but not allowed to take kids outside--they ended up hiring
someone to come in and cook for them).

Yesterday Ato Teklu took us to Lake Horah Recreational Area--a park
area of several volcanic crater lakes that were STUNNING! Easily the
most beautiful place I have ever seen. He drove us up this tiny
HORRIBLE little road--we were following signs to someplace called
"Dreamland Resort" passing dogs that had been hit by cards, and over
potholes that might do a fiat in (by the way, I'm loving the Toyota
Hiace vans) and up to this craggly little neighborhood, where we found
a TOTAL oasis--they weren't kidding about Dreamland. The restraunt was
perched high on a cliff overlooking the crater and lake, and it was
completely amazing. He told us that there's a superstition against
swimming in this lake for fear of sea monsters, and also because it's
volcanic it's not been studied to the bottom but is believed to be 80
Meteres deep. We occasionally saw bubbles and steam coming up from
it. The lake was deep down in the crater and the ridges were
beautiful. Parrotts flew by and other amazing birds (Destiny, I'm
bringing you a bird book)

In the afternoon we went to find T's mother's sister, and visited
with her and her very sweet children for a while. She has a son
studying to be a nurse (maybe a few years younger than me) and a
teenage daughter and a little girl who must be six. We'd planned to
take the aunt out to dinner, and she brought along the little
girl--which was great for melat to have a pal. We went to a fancy
local "cultural restraunt" which has live music and traditional
dancing, and is very popular--but our wise taxi driver Merid (knower
of all things in Addis) told us no decent restraunt would serve dinner
until 7PM so we needed to "kill some time" (someplace safe, someplace
cheap, and someplace the kids would have fun...so where to go?) He
said "We shall go to the Ghion and watch the weddings" (T and I
are thinking..."what!?!?" but he hadn't steered us wrong yet, so we
trusted him).

We went to the Ghion (Merid's normal taxi station) which is a large
older fancy hotel run by the Chinese with very beautiful grounds and
facilities--but we spent one night there and didn't like the rooms at
all-- and is a popular place on weekends for weddings of Ethiopia's
elite.

Sure enough... the front garden had no less than 15 weddings in an
amazing assembly-line fashion. Each time one wedding party left in a
limo, the next one arrived!! (By the way, the rainy season ended three
days ago... and they weren't joking--the weather here is like a
CLOCK!).

These weddings were amazing elaborate weddings across this gigantic
European Style lawn/garden with a big central fountian. There were
"stations." Wedding parties lined up to march up the aslie one after
another to the fountian where the ceremony was performed and then out
to 10-12 photo stations where each was in use but perfecly timed they
moved without waiting from one photo area to another, and then the
music profession started (this was the fun part--it was like a
New-Orleans style "Second Line" with dancing, and saxaphones and the
bridesmids and groomsmen dance around the bride and groom). The
fashionable wedding colors in Ethiopia right now are neons--the brides
in white of course, but we saw Chartruse, Neon yellow and bright pink
bridesmaids gowns (which go great on that medium brown Abesha skin
tone--just beautiful!!) For those of you who think Wedding-Watching
is a terrible version of party-crashing--it seems to be the weekend
pastime of the middle-class here--there was QUITE a group of
"spectators" We did our best to just try to stay out of photos.

Then we went to dinner and had a lovely traditional dinner with local
music and dancing. Melat had a good time but it was getting VERY late
when we were done--about 9:00PM--and she was ready for some sleep.

She's QUITE a big eater. She eats more than and I together, and
has accumulated QUITE a pot-bellie in our time here.
Last night was the first night Melat didn't tantrum at me as it was
bedtime, and just now she's informed me that it's time to watch
"WOOSHA" (the dog movie) and go to bed, so I'll wrap up so she can
have some good sleep...in case we fly tomorrow night... YAY!!!

It appears we'll be home Wednesday at the earliest, maybe Friday at the latest.
We'll know more tomorrow moring (monday) at the Embassay. I've not
figured out the time difference--it's 7:15PM on Sunday here and my
computer says at home it's 9:14AM on Sunday. Hello to everyone at
church!

From Jess 9/19/08 (Friday)

First off--I do love Ethiopia, and I'm really enjoying Addis Ababa,
however, it's been two and a half weeks, I'm wearing my "good
traveler" skin thin.

We've been at the guesthouse now for two and a half weeks I think?
(I"m losing track of time). They've determined that I'm now 1/2
Abesha (Ethiopian) and a "permanent resident" here. The good thing is
that after 10 days, the guesthouse rate goes down to $50 a night.
Hopefully today we went to the Embassy for our visa--it's been the
"guideline maximum" of 10 business days since we applied. At 3:00pm
we were unceremoniously told that the Embassy is closed, we may come
back on Monday. MONDAY?? (Would someone kindly inform the Ambassador
that these banker's hours from 9:30 AM until 3:00 PM is simply
unacceptable?) Next week is another "holy week" next Saturday (a week
from tomorrow) is "Cross Finding Day" and always when Holy days are
imminent the entire city begins to grind to a halt--mostly clogged by
sheep I think. Please keep us in your prayers for a DHL, FEDEX, Donkey
or Dove to deliver this Visa, We are all missing home!
On the way to the embassy, we met with Julie and her friend Cindy.
Julie is another WACAP mom and just arrived last night to pick up her
son M who is close to Destiny's age--and a very good Friend of
Melat's--when they saw one another in the van--there was much hugging!
M recognized me from our visits to WACAP House where I left him with a
little flip book of airplanes--he loves airplanes and was very
patiently waiting for his mom to arrive on one, so I gave him that to
play with while he was waiting another week for his mom. It was great
to see him with his mom--he was so happy!

Ato Teklu took us to the mountiantop today--the highest point in Addis
Ababa at 10,000 feet. We drove most of the way, and hiked the rest.
The view was stunning!!! The entire city spread out below us through a
forest of eucalyptus.

There were wild monkeys, and a man with a rifle accompanied us in case
of fox or hyena (Great--more animals with teeth!!) There were the
women coming down from the mountain with the giant bundles of firewood
on their backs (it was a terrifying switchback road--think one of
those Weyerhaeuser roads up in the black hills!) These women were
headed down with bundles the same size as them tied to their backs!
At the top of the mountain we met a local historian/guide/artist who
does AMAZING work. One of his most famous fans is Beyonce Knowles.
(She came to Ethiopia last year for the millennium concert and has done
some humanitarian work here). He has a three room gallery at the top
of the mountain made from old shipping containers. I found a painting
just like the one I bought for Rob--so I'm going to check the
signature--I think it's the same guy just based on the rather
characteristic style and the fact that the gallery I bought the
painting at dealt with all local artists and was reputable (Hilton) so
unlikely to deal in fakes. (So there Rob, you have a painting just
like Beyonce's!) Side note: Everyone here is big fans of: Beyonce,
Oprah, Angelia Jolie/Brad Pitt, and Barrack Obama. I've seen more Barrack
Obama campaign T-Shirts here than in America.
T didn't go on that trip to the mountain--she'd been out late
getting her hair done at the beauty salon next door--I hadn't realized
we were going to the mountain or I would have picked her up from the
beauty shop next door and brought her with us hair half-done and all! :-)

Tomorrow we are going with Ato Teklu, Julie and her friend Cindy and
little M on a picnic to the Lake in the countryside. (50 KM away--I
have no idea how far that is). T wants to go on that outing, and then when we get back we'll try to go see her aunt--if not tomorrow, then on Sunday. Also, perhaps
another visit to Layla house, I've promised a visit to Layla if we
were here on the weekend.

We're now crossing our fingers the the Visa comes on Monday, but in
case it does not, Laura has contacted Project Hopeful for me--they
work with families who's medical wavers have gotten lodged someplace
in diplomatic chaos. (The email came back when I tried to contact
her--some domains aren't cooperating when I use google.com.et)
At this point as soon as we've got the Visa, we'll be coming home on
the next available flight. Melat is getting very attached to the
staff at the guesthouse (as am I--I do think I'll cry when we leave)
but I worry about all of her moves and attachments and losses--it's
just so much.

She still doesn't especially like me. I know intellectually that this
too will pass--as it did before with big sister. It's also especially
easy for her to like someone else--as there's so many likable
Amharic-speaking people around us every day. Bedtime is tough. She
likes to sit with the guard after dinner and listen to the radio with
him. At around 7:00 T and I pry her away, and I put on a movie, and
at 8:15 the hysterics subside to occasional sniffles. A few minutes
later she's fine and dandy, and then she falls asleep around 8:00.
This morning she woke me at 6:00AM force-feeding me cookies. (I'm not
sure what that's a sign of, though I've considered the options: 1: She
might like me, a little, 2: she find me less threatening when I'm
asleep, 3: she's trying to induce a coronary).

She's a funny kid though--likes to play games and tease and joke. She
is very social with people and will talk to them about anything, or
nothing. She likes dogs. She likes white rice, but hates fish. (We
had fried fish in berebere for lunch today... it was...different--like
a cross between fish sticks and hot wings, only with catfish). Today
for dinner (This is for Destiny's benefit who wants to know the
details of all meals) we had the best chicken-potato soup that I think
I've ever had!)

The woman at the guesthouse who got so sick and was hospitalized a
couple of days ago is well now. It was food poisoning (From a pizza
restaurant of all places... I ate Kitfo and I'm fine but she got sick
from Pizza! ::patting my pocket to be sure I've still got my Cipro
with me:: Just goes to show it can be anything--the last time I had
food poisoning it was from Stanley and Seaforts of all places). She's
still a little queasy and weak but is a lot better. It was quite a
scare. We walked to the supermarket this morning for some
tummy-friendly snack foods. I picked a chocolate bar (I was dying for
a chocolate bar). It was made in Turkey, and heavily stabilized with
Paraffin to handle the extreme heat in transit and on the shelf. It
was like eating shoe polish. (may I place an advance order for some
"chubby hubby" Ben and Jerry's ice cream when we get home?)
We've compared notes and determined that when a taxi driver is going
to the hospital, it seems they've appointed themselves ambulance
drivers.... the most terrifying car rides we've had yet were to the
hospitals--and she said also that her trip was pretty terrifying! The
drivers flash their lights on and off like ambulances--only with one
hand on their lights and another hand on the shifter (these Fiat taxis
are all manual transmission) and no hands on the steering
wheels--potholes, pedestrians and sheep everywhere!!) Poor Katie
though did all of that in the dark and rain too!!

Well, that's pretty much our story for now--more hurrying up and
waiting. I have great faith in Project Hopeful, they'll be a great
help. Also, it's always possible that the visa will come in on Monday
if 9/11 (Being an Ethiopian Holiday) didn't count as one of our ten
days. Another side note: if these embassy people get to work from
9:00 until 3:00 and take all US and Ethiopian Holidays, I may be
considering an alternate line of work. They've got a sweet deal.
We all miss everyone and look forward to getting home and sharing hugs
and showing you our amazing photos of this trip. It's truly the most
amazing place I've ever seen and I hope to come back sometime soon
(though on a more definite time frame would be much easier). We do have
great help in our agency here--they've been very good to us. Also I
cannot recommend the guesthouse highly enough, they are excellent!
See you all soon--ciao for now!

Jess

Ahhhh!!!!! (Sept. 18th 2008)

It's thursday evening almost 5pm, and we still have no Visa. The
Embassay closes for the weekend, so if we don't get our Visa tomrorow
morning, we won't be home until Tuesday late at the VERY earliest.

I'm so ready to go home....

Today we went to the National Museum and saw the real "Lucy" They
had some really good exhibits including Haile Selassie's throne and
royal robes, and the crown jewels of Ethiopia.

Melat didn't go on that adventure, she wanted to stay behind, which is
OK becuase there's a babysitter on staff at the guesthouse, and she
was being a pill.

Rob, will you pick up some antifungal ointment? Melat and I both have
mosquito bites that I think have contracted ringworm (it's a wonder
everyone doesnt' have it with the humidity here). It will be nice to
have that there when we get home.

We're still having a good time, but the weather has turned for the
worst so we get a little cabin fever trying not to get too far away
(the flooding is getting really bad, and even with the generator we
spent much of the past day without power, and all of the night). I'm
really glad I brought a book, and the new laptop has great battery
life. It's very hard to get Melat to bed, so I put her in her jammies
in the bed and she watches what she calls "WOOSHA"--Amharic for dog--
(The old Merry Melodies short "Bartholomew vs. the Wheel") It's only
about four minutes long, so as we crawl into bed, she slaps me awake
every four minutes shouting "WOOSHA!!"

Better that than non-stop screaming. Ususually she'll watch it a dozen
times or so and tuck herself in and go to sleep.

Well, that's my update for now--please keep praying for a speedy visa!

Jess

Tuesday 9/16

On Ethiopia time, today is Tuesday morning. As of yet, we still have
no travel visa. If one comes today, we will know by noon.
T and I are planning in the afternoon to go visit her grandmother I
think. Today I'm happy to just sit quietly. (I'm a little dehydrated
and woozy) Sometime soon my diet will have more water than my shoes I
hope....

Melat has been a bit of a pill. She's got an independent streak a mile
wide, and still suffers from "the favorite" syndrome. Seems that T and
I always have pockets full of cookies to bribe her wtih. (What would
it be saying if drug a screaming child through town?)

Happy birthday Jessica!

Sept. 15: "T" and Melat at the fruit stands

"T" in pink shirt and Melat at the meat shack

Melat

Monday 9/15

We're doing well today. It's been kind of low-key. We went this morning to the Embassay for our visa--and it's not ready. They said maybe sometime this week or early next week. UGHHHHH. We're still enjoying our stay thought. T Spent last night at at Layla again and came back pretty groggy. She went straight upstairs and to sleep. I will check at dinner time and see if shes' feeling well, but I don't want to wake her before then. We're having a good time. Melat has lots of friends. Last night we went to the Hilton for dinner with friends. She and I had traditional food. Our friends had American food. As dinner was dwindling down she started saying to me "ships" "Ships, ships" and then grabbed my chin and shouted "SHIPS!!" I said I don't know what youre' saying. Finally, in very clear English she yelled "I LIKE SHIPS" (She wanted "chips" --french fries!) It was hilarious. We're taking a quiet afternoon, we may run out later and search for more Pull-ups (I think she's on her last one). Tomorrow, off to see some of T's family, and then maybe shopping or something. We'll see. The taxi costs us about $30USD per day, so we try to make it a full day when we go out.>>>> Jess

From Jess rec'd 9/12 10am (our time)

Well, it's Friday. What an adventure this has been.

On Sunday you know I was bitten by a dog. I waited a day for info to find out about what/where/when to go for treatment to prevent rabies (the bite is practically healed and is no trouble at all now--it was bad at first--three punctures and three gashes). We went to three hospitals and all have told me that they cannot provide a rabies vaccine, that I have to go to "pastor." We ended up at St. Paul's Hospital's rabies clinic on New Year's eve (September 10). We were told they could provide it but I needed to go to"pastor" (I was sure we were at Pastor, as was our driver, whose English was as good as any we've seen). The hospital was truly doing it's best with what it had, so I don't want to belittle their efforts, but I also want to make very clear that I don't want to be treated for ANYTHING there. There were women in labor, men with gunshots, people needing amputations, and people reading skull X rays in the rain in the parking lot as everyone waited for the triage department to come back from the customary 2 hour lunch. Yes, there were dead people too.

This clinic has a "rabies clinic" so we went and spoke to the nurse in what looked like a barn, with stalls that lock from the outside (I'm wondering--is that where the rabies patients go?) She said we needed to go to "Pastur" (there it was again) for a prescription and to buy our needles. I asked her if she meant Pharmacist/Chemist and she said Yes! Pharmacist, for a prescription. But all of the pharmacies will be closed for the new year holiday, so come back afterwards.

Ok, two days later now, the new year's holiday is over (let me comeback later to the subject of reflections on the new year). So we went back on the great hospital tour. I went this time to the Hilton and changed $300 to Birr for the cost of medical treatment (not knowing what it may cost). I asked the concierge where to go--he also said "Pastur," so first to the pharmacist, where for $0.45 I purchased a new needle and the medicine I was told I'd need, so back to the little hospital in the woods with the barn, and we stood in at least a dozen lines (it's like going to Group Health--wait in line and check in for 30 minutes, wait in line and pay for 30 minutes, back to triage, back to identification (somewhere in this mess my rental cell phone was stolen---which was a bummer because I'd just loaded it with prepaid airtime $100 Birr (About $9). I'll get in touch with the hotel and buy them a new one--it was a cheap phone, so I'm not worried. I was a little surprised that despite the fact that I was carrying about 10,000 Birr, and another $700-900 US, they didn't take any money--the phone must have been easy to get. It's the only thing missing. Taking that hint, I started separating my money up to different places, and leaving some safe at the hotel. (I know, I should have done that in the first place, but I'm so afraid of losing things).

After all of that they said no, the doctor I need to see is at lunch, come back in two hours, so we took our taxi driver (the nicest guy you'd ever want to meet) to lunch at an Ethiopian restaurant, which was great!! We went back to the hospital from you know where, (again, they're doing their best and they're doing good work, but they're no Overlake!). We met one more doctor who said no, go to the pharmacy again, so we got the taxi driver and walked across the street to the pharmacy (we needed his translating skills--medical terms are beyond T's experience).

We learned that the Pastur Institute was a campus within walking distance where they treat and diagnose rabies cases and manufacture the vaccine locally. We met with two extremely kind doctors--both who had very good English skills, about what's going on. They explained to me that the vaccine that they could offer me would cause me more problems than are worth it if the dog is not sick. We were reluctant to disclose the identity of the dog thinking it would be killed to be diagnosed. (It's T's family dog-- we didn't want it killed simply because I frightened it and I'm a paranoid American). They said either I must get the high risk vaccine which may or may not work, may cause other complications, and requires three months of treatment, with 17 injections each time and that it's not completely effective.

Then they introduced me to the man who makes the vaccine--the head "Rabies Guy" for all of Ethiopia who told me about Rabies occurrence in and outside of Addis, and how about 2,000 people get Rabies from Dogs, Cats and Donkeys (yes, Donkeys) each year, and nationwide there are about 20,000 cases of Rabies so if we know the dog, we must have the dog observed. I asked "observed, or studied?" They said they hold the dog in quarantine for 10 days and watch it and then release it if it is not sick (they become aggressive 10 days before developing classic rabies symptoms). He could tell we were reluctant to identify the dog but still concerned about preventative medicine, so would you believe this--he went with us in the taxi to see the dog, and has promised to follow up each of the remaining four days after the bite. At that point, I should technically be "out of the woods" if the dog does not get sick. Each day he's going to visit the dog, and call me and let me know how it is. Ethiopians are the best people EVER!! (We didn't want the dog quarantined because I scared it--it wasn't aggressive, and because we don't think it would be reclaimed). We thanked the family for the trouble of letting us inspect the dog, and gave them money for a veterinary checkup and a rabies vaccine so they don't have to worry about the people that live in their neighborhood.



Through all of this Melat has been a super trooper. Boring doctors and all day cab rides, holy smokes! I promised her cookies and when we got back tonight I went out and bought her some sunglasses and some cookies (her toys are spread through every taxi in town I think). (We keep the same taxi driver because we like him, but each time his car breaks down, he borrows a friends'). Long story short, the dog is under surveillance, and I've contacted our travel insurance to start working on medical evacuation so I can get to the states or Europe to get a vaccine though, again, the "Rabies Guy" (I wrote down his name, but don't have it here) said by Tuesday if the dog is still OK, I've got nothing to worry about.



We're going Monday to see if Melat's visa is ready at the Embassy and if it is not, we are going to request a temporary emergency visa, and we'll try to change our flights to come back as soon as possible. I think we'll be back by the end of the week if the Visas all work out. (Rob and Laura, I may cancel the flights on Northwest and try to fly Ethiopia Air as they go direct to DC, just to be sure of no delays in Denmark or Sudan.) I'll be in touch on travel arrangements after Monday. T is having a great time, we had a wonderful visit at Layla House for the New Year and made balloons. It was a delightful little mob scene. I wish all those kids had families to go to TOMORROW. A few days ago we visited Little Ahope but it was nap time so we're going back on Sunday I think to Little Ahope and Big Ahope to make balloons. Tomorrow we're planning on doing a little shopping. (Everything is so affordable here!)



As I said before, Thursday was the new year, so all those sheep and cows and goats in the city met their end. Today the heads, guts and feet of all of these poor critters litter the streets and gutters (they're given to the dogs--I don't think they're OK to eat for Orthodox people). In three days this place is going to reek. Now with most of the sheep and cows gone, you see a lot more dogs. We were walking back from the store and under a porch were no less than 15 fat happy sleeping dogs, which Melat saw but we didn't. She gave a squeal of delight and ran towards them (the orphanages have the sweetest dogs). I scooped up Melat and ran!!! The dogs didn't even flinch. I swear, all the dogs here are deaf. Everything here is LOUD!!



Thursday, I woke up and saw the Ethiopian calendar--9-11-01 (the Orthodox calendar is seven years behind). It brought back a flood of grief and stress and sadness that I didn't even know was in me. I was on the verge of tears much of the day. I don't think I was tired either. I'm doing well now that I'm sleeping. I'm fairly well covered in bug bites though. I'm going to put insect repellent on Melat and myself before bed tonight. I think it's the flies biting me, or the mosquitoes--but they burn more than they itch, which makes me think it's the flies. (Don't fret mom, they're not the Malaria mosquitoes--they don't have those over 7,000 feet).



One last observation, it's not easy to be me. Everyone stares at me. We're staying in a farther out part of town (it's really like Burien is to Seattle) but there's only a few white people. We get followed around by children and adults alike. They want to practice their English or check their accent to make sure it's right. (Everyone who is educated at school here seems to speak English very, very well). The street children (and sometimes their parents) will shout "You!"and all they want is for you to smile and wave. It's universal, it's not one part of town or another or inside an orphanage or another. Today I saw three other white people. I easily saw 10,000 people in all of the places we went to. Even we few white people stare at each other....wondering why they're there, and where they're from. I had a lovely conversation a few days ago with a family visiting from Vienna, also on a homeland trip with a teenager. It was great fun!



Well, there's my update for now, it's not as cheery as before, don't take that the wrong way. We're having a great time and even though we miss home, we both wish we could stay longer. We are having such a great time and we love it here. It's beautiful and the people are wonderful. If I were a doctor, I would live here. In the future, I would like to visit with a doctor :) (Also, don't think I'm without care at all--we are staying with an MD, and traveling with a PA, so we're not exactly on an island). By they way, the Rabies Guy complimented me on my emergency self-care (hand sanitizer and hydrocortisone immediately after flushing the bite) Thanks, mom, for all the training.



OK, enough fun for today, I'm going to go put on some bug spray and go to bed. Jess

From Jess rec'd 9/10/08 10pm US/8am Ethiopia

Hello all! Happy 2001! We just spent last night celebrating the turn of the millennium! Its a wonderful celebration here. Today we're going to a new year feast. We're very excited.

There are bonfires and fireworks and lots and lots of sheep (have I mentioned the sheep before?) I know now where the expression "counting sheep" came from.

It's 8:00 and in a few minutes the taxi will be here to take us to the hospital. I have to get a rabies injection becuase I was bitten by a dog. Our guesthome helped us find a Korean hospital that caters to tourists and is "well facilitiated" I'm told which, after a little effort, we determined means it has good facilties, and will have the injection on hand.

Melat is doing well. She's a little princess. That will have to stop because I don't believe in raising little princesses. I was told yesterday by both of her orphanages that she was the favorite and smartest. I put her in the corner for a tantrum and she screamed and wailed.

After the hospital, we will go to Layla House for the new year celebration there (it's AAI's orphanage) and make balloon animals, and then Friday, Saturday and Sunday we're going to big and little AHOPE to do the same (A belated new year).

Today being new year's day, a flock of children arrived selling drawings. I bought one for 30 birr (about 3 cents) it's on copy paper--it's an angel and has some mud, but I bought it to bring back and show you all becuase it's an interesting tradition.

T is having fun. Everyone's laughing at my Amharic... yesterday I tried to order Tibis (our favorite) at a restraunt. They brought us each a big plate of "chips" (English french fries). So the three of us had fries for lunch. Funny!!

Every now and then we all feel the need for a caffeine jolt--so we'll go order a Pepsi... but when you buy a Pepsi from a store, you must drink it there and then return the bottle. That takes some getting used to. The bottles are VERY well used. (I tell myself, at least they're recycling something....).

The broken bottles are used to top fences for security so nobody climbs them.

Again, the guesthouse is wonderful. They've been educating us on the new year traditions, and celebrating them here with us. There are some traditions (lighting the fires with fireworks in them, and then jumping over them) that the men and boys are traditionally involved in. For those kids with just moms traveling, they participate with the sons so that they have a "father figure" to be doing the traditional dances and fire jumping with. (Yes, someone picked up my little girl and jumped over a fire with her.... it was dark so I didn't know it was her until I heard her laugh.... accckkk.....!!! I was not a happy mommy!)

It's about breakfast time and we have to leave for the hospital in a few mintues, so I'm going to close for now.

Take care everyone,

Jessica, T and Melat.

From Jessica #2 (rec'd 9/6/08 3:30 AM)

5:30 AM

It’s a little later, and we’ve gotten so bored that we figured Melat will nap later anyhow, we’ll turn on lights so we don’t die of boredom. There’s a nice living room downstairs, but I think she would be frightened if she woke and she wasn’t here. T and I have got jet lag pretty bad and were wide awake with the dogs at 1’ish. She tells me that you can tell the Ethiopian “Time of Night” by the noises. The dogs at 1 and 2, and the birds at 3:30 and the roosters around 5. True to her word, all happened, right on schedule. WOW.

I’ve been doing some thinking about how the hazards of life are different here—especially for children.

Yesterday at the coffee ceremony, we had about 16 people in a smallish room (like a family room in a home) Everyone sat in plastic lawn chairs, or on plastic wrapped foam mattresses on the floor. (The African definition of mattress is different… think furniture pad). The strew grasses all over the ground we’d walk in on (I think this is a sign of hospitality—not of bad housekeeping like I first thought). The thing is, it was these loose dry grasses like something between hay and those long California pine needles strewn all over slick parquet floors. (Everything here is slippery—masonry walks, clay, tile, marble, and parquet—even the grass since there’s a layer of mud under it).

OK, so you’ve got the visual of the grassy stuff all over the slick floor and a room full of crying Americans holding their babies, but we haven’t gotten to the coffee part yet. They roast the green coffee beans in a small pan over a charcoal fire that’s made in a little metal barbeque-hibachi type thing right in the middle of the room on that grass. Indoors—no chimney, no vent.

Then for the smoke, they put an additional cup of burning charcoal in front of the barbeque—I wasn’t able to determine if it was old hot coals or fresh ones warming up.

These coffee ceremonies can go on for hours, but the babies were getting fussy and there was quite a posse of us there, so they cut it short. Usually a person should plan on three hours for a coffee ceremony.

Anyhow, they took Melat for a “break” in the middle of the ceremony so she could go eat her lunch (even though she’d just eaten a bunch of shortbread cookies and packed her pockets with more), and she just scrambled in and out of the room---dashing across the grass right in front of the coals. I thought I was going to fall out of my chair. Nobody seemed bothered by it. Kids must really know their way around these things.

The guest house provided a basket of oranges in the room, They’re African Oranges, not Florida Oranges—they’re hard and yellow-green and bitter and dry, but T. and I liked them. Melat picked up the basket and said “Oh, I hate.” And put it down. Again, surprising us with her English.

She’s switching up her Amharic and English on us—using both in sentences (she talks fairly non-stop—at least she did yesterday, she’s still sleeping). The guesthouse yard has a bit of a slope with a high point in one corner and a bigger flat space at the bottom for a small game of soccer (very small—2-3 player). J Melat picked up a beach ball and said “Up the mountain and all around!!” And wanted me to carry her, so I carried her to the highest place, and all along the guesthouse wall—which has really pretty flowers in the space between the top of the wall and the electric concertina wire.

Oh, she sings in her sleep. A pop song that was on some music videos that the Nannies put on during the coffee ceremony—I’ll bet she hears it a lot. Asheba, asheaba something about being proud of being Ethiopian.

It’s 5:41 now, and the call to prayer has just begun. It sounds like I can hear it from two or three mosques. It’s really lovely. Calm, and reverent. People here pray all the time. I thought the nannies and cooks here at the guesthouse were gossiping and talking between themselves, nope, they were praying out loud as they work T tells me.

There is much to pray about here. To be thankful for, to ask for. What I cannot understand is why life is so hard for people who pray so much. I’m going to have to do some serious thinking on that. It bothers me.

During the night there was a fight across the street. A man and woman fighting terribly and scaring the small child. There was a lot of screaming and arguing, and finally the woman decided to go sleep on the street, so she and her small son went to sleep on the street. I don’t know what it is about sleeping on the street (perhaps fewer bugs/snakes?) That seems to be the place to go if you don’t have a place to go. She slept on the street for a while and neighbors asked her and her son to come in out of the street but she said no, she’ll stay there. A few hours later, they reconciled and she went back to her house.

Good thing too because just shortly after that the shepherds started coming through. You would never believe the number of sheep there are here. It’s amazing. They look more like goats—they’re meat sheep with scraggly hair not fluffy wool. (The dogs here have far nicer coats!) I asked our driver yesterday if the sheep live in the city, or if they just come to market. He said they come to market though the city and will only be in the city a day or so before being food.

Another funny thing—the area where we are is kind of suburban, between the mountains and the downtown. The homes are all little walled in compounds, but there’s these sheds that look like school bus stops along the road. Maybe 8 feet x8 feet made of corrugated tin roofing material (obviously in its second or third application). I asked T what are these buildings? Are they for busses, or for garbage cans to go? She said no, they are homes. The people here will build the shed-homes for people to live in, in exchange for guarding their gate, or sometimes they will just build them so street people have a place to sleep out of the rain.

On the way here, I read a book of Mother Theresa’s writings—her passion was service to the poor and dying. Filling very simple needs like a bed to die on, or a soothing touch, or a bit of food to eat, and I see people offering that to others around—every where I look.

The prayer call has just gotten louder, and the dogs have started in. It’s now beginning to remind me of the volunteer fire fighter siren that we used to hear at the house in Roy that would set the dogs to howling.

Oh! Funny thing—we watched Ice age last night and there’s that cute little saber-toothed squirrel? Melat loves him. She says w w w w w wh wh WOOF!! (It’s true, dogs here don’t bark like they do at home—no howling or growling, but more sociable noises).

Melat, like her sister in America can sure fill up a mattress. Goodness gracious. She wiggles and moves around on the full-size bed. I decided to have her sleep with me, not knowing if she’d be scared or what. She wiggled around and stretched, most of the night keeping her hands around her doll, and her foot in my side. She fell off the bed once during the night, but she went right back to sleep.

People are probably wondering about her health. She’s got Molluscum (Orphan warts—a fairly common viral skin thing, I understand they go away after a while. They’re on her face, neck and bottom. She’s also got Mongolian spots I think—they look like bruises all up her back. (Destiny had this too, and it went away as she got older—Mongolian Spots are common in dark-skinned children).

She’s got a potbelly. I don’t know yet if it’s from parasites of being well-fed. Maybe a combination. She has a round little face. Her eyes look clear. Many friends and family know I was concerned about what looked like a possible facial palsy—she’s got a little bit of extra skin on one eyelid which makes her eyes look asymmetrical, but only when she’s really tired (that’s why I didn’t recognize her when she came to the van at WACAP house—I was looking for her eyes).
She has very wide feet!

Well, I’m going to close for now. It’s about 6am and the guesthouse and neighborhood are getting moving, so I know Melat will be up and hungry soon. I’m sure hungry! My stomach isn’t quite right, but I think that’s just the jet lag. The only thing I’ve noticed about the altitude is that I get out of breath really fast.

From Jessica (rec'd 9/6/08 3:30 AM)

9-6-08 1am

The trip here was incredibly long. More than I ever could have believed. 20 hours in flight and two layovers (Amsterdam and Karthoum).

The flights were however, very easy. Good foods, good movies, etc. I’m still having trouble over 4,000 feet, but it’s manageable (I’m allergic to altitude sickness meds).

We landed at nighttime and couldn’t locate our guesthouse, so we spent the night at the Ghion. It was a very hospitable place, with very nice amenities and pretty grounds.

The next morning, we went to try to locate an Internet connection, and as we sat down in the Internet café, Dave, the owner of our guesthouse walked in and apologized profusely for the mix up, took our bags to the guesthouse and made arrangements to pick us up at the Ghion after our meeting at our agency’s transition home.

The transition home is lovely. Cherry and bright with the kindest caretakers I could have ever hoped to meet. When we got out of the van, a little girl marched right out of the bedroom and began inspecting the van passengers while the other kids lurked in doorways. She walked right up to a woman, and Ato Teklu (our coordinator said “No no, Melat, *that* is your mommy” and pointed to me. She was there! We thought she was still at her orphanage. She walked right over to me and hugged me, and visited with T (my Ethiopian friend who’s traveling with me).

Melat and T. became fast friends, but she seems to know who her mommy is. She sat on my lap and ate cookies, and fed me cookies, and was VERY excited by the glittery shoes that we brought her in my bag. She ripped her sneakers off her feet and put on her glitter shoes and showed them off to all of the caregivers!

We had a coffee ceremony (espresso made the Ethiopian way, cookies, cake, popcorn and toasted barley-Peanut mixture, it was delicious!) they brought the children in to see everyone (Melat had managed to already be there, not leaving us since the van arrived). There were many babies in our group, as well as two older boys.

After the coffee ceremony, our coordinator told us we could take Melat with us. Right now. So we did. This wasn’t part of our original plan, but I didn’t wan to do our first “bonding” on a round-the-world Airline adventure.

There is a caveat, we shouldn’t take Melat everywhere we go, but the guesthouse has nannies if she needs to stay behind (there is a concern here that Foreign adoption is too prevalent), so the government is asking families to be more discreet.

T. is a big hit here. Everywhere we go people love her. She’s Ethiopian-American and seems to have achieved the dream. Last night in the dining room we heard the cooks praying to go to America like her. The man at customs asked me how is Barak Obama (I disappointed him when I said I’d never met him). He said ‘I think Barak is Kenyan” I said, his dad is Kenyan, and I think his mom may have been Hawaiian. He said ‘Just like me!” Then he turned to T and asked her if we were there for adoption and why couldn’t I just adopt him? He’s cute too, right? She just laughed and rolled her eyes.

The people here are SO friendly. Like nothing I’ve ever seen before. The maids, the nannies, the doorman, everyone.

Melat is amazing. We didn’t think she spoke any English but she’s got some and she learns a new way to express her self in English to me about once an hour.

She can sing Twinkle Twinkle Little star in perfect English.
She says “baby” And we watched Ice Age last night and she said “where’s the baby? Peekabo!” like the tiger.
Mom will like this—she also says ultikultikulti (instead of “tickle”) like my foster brother did. She runs after me with her index finger out and says “ultikultik!”

She has a LOT to say. She talked to T about her photo album, and she looks a lot like T’s younger sister—and even tried to introduce herself by that name to the receptionist at our hotel. She smooches the photo of T’s brother and says he’s very handsome she likes him. She also likes to play with makeup and knows EXACTLY what to do with it. (Ditto on digital cameras, and video cameras)

She was looking out the window and telling T “I know that person, and I know that person.” T said “Well, I don’t know those people.” Melat said “Me either, I don’t know them.”

She talks pretty much non-stop. Very happy and pleasant. We served her dinner first last night (trying to determine what she likes and doesn’t—yes Shiro, and injera no Popcorn and Potatoes). She was upset that I didn’t have food on my plate.

She loves to wash hands in the sink and splash and splash. I have to snatch the soap away from her and put it up, and she just says “NO DOWNS!!” (she doesn’t want me to put her down from the high sink—where I hold her heavy little butt to wash. (she’s heaver than I expected)

The clothes we brought fit, but I have only two changes and a pair of PJs—I take that back, I have four changes, the nannies at WACAP house gave us some clothes.

We’ll go in the next few days and try to find her a dress for the new year holy day on 9/11.

OK—enough of my chatter for now, I’m going to write down just a few observations that I would like to record and elaborate on later.

Traffic. OMG I have never seen anything like this. For those of you who know me well, I’m a nervous passenger at best. I have seen three microbuses side by side in one lane of traffic….between herds of cows and sheep. Drivers veer towards pedestrians to avoid gigantic potholes, very, very brave traffic policemen stand in the road to keep some sort of order and act like traffic lights.

Extraordinary poverty—and yet people give so much. The very first thing I noticed off the plane was how skinny the children were—and that was at the airport, where the affluent are. Every where we go there are street people. Road medians, alleys, and every other patch of land has an impromptu garden or livestock pen, and often tent dwellings. People lay on the sides of the streets and in the gutters, and I don’t know if they live there, or if they have expired. I saw a man grab a fast food wrapper from the water in the gutter (it was pouring rain) and he dumped the water out and ate whatever was left inside. (Is anyone that hungry in the USA? I remember once in DC seeing a homeless man bait and catch and cook a pigeon and I was shocked, but hey, they’re pretty good eating, and DC pigeons are porky little dudes). Near the agency house, we saw a man eating shoe leather off an old shoe.

Incredible kindness and generosity from the people here: People seem to give all that they can to help others. These aren’t street beggars who go home at night to their family—this truly is life or death foraging for food, gardening in gutters. Ethiopians who have, seem to share universally with those who don’t.

Construction practices: I will bring photos for everyone at Nuprecon. Shocking. Wood pole scaffolds, and concrete poured into high-rise beams by bucket passed one gallon at a time up a relay of workers dozens of stories up with no tie-off. No hard hats. I have seen hard-hats here though… on motorcyclists. They’re not even the good ones like OSHA/WISHA require. They’re like the ones you buy children for costumes. The transition home had a nice masonry wall protection the compound (pretty much everywhere does) and broken bottles arranged in colorful patterns mortared onto the top of the wall. I thought it was decoration, it’s not, it’s a security device so nobody can scale the wall and steal the food. Our compound has a very high wall and concertina wire as well as a full time guard (most places seem to have onsite round the clock security, even though everyone assures us that its very very safe here)

Birds: I’ve located a bird book. It was priced at $15 USD on the cover, but the shop price tag was $2.5 Birr. (About a quarter of a dollar US). I’m bringing that home for Destiny who loves birds. The birds here are GIGANTIC and very cool. Nice birdcalls, truly beautiful.

The city overall: I really, really like it. I did not expect to at all. It smells like smoked meat and spices and coffee everywhere. The scenery and mountains are amazing. It is very affordable here and the food is very, very good.

The Guesthouse: I would recommend to anyone without hesitation. It’s lovely. It’s a compound in the suburbs with nice views and a yard with toys to play with. There are other families here with kids the same age. A boy near T’s age who likes to play soccer, and a girl Melat’s age who likes to say “Hello” and “thank you” over and over. They’re very sweet.

The driver, security guard, cook, nannies, receptionist and owner feel like our “Ethiopia family” and have taken care of our every need or concern. They’ve thought of everything.
It is rather noisy—lots of dogs around the compound barking and fighting—and people up and around at all hours. We can hear the street pretty well. It’s now 2am and I’m still up—I hear birds that sound like someone screaming, and people talking and children playing, and lots and lots of dogs. I asked T about the kids out all hours. She said they have to be out. They have nowhere to go.

Well, that’s what I have for now. It’s a mixed bag of amazing, shocking, beautiful and encouraging and sad all at the same time. I know that this trip will be a life changing experience.

More later, for now I need to try to sleep and get myself on Ethiopia time.

Jess