So as I posted before, Thursday I lost my job. The economy has hit the construction industry especially hard, so while I was surprised, it wasn't exactly shocked.
This may be the answer to my prayers. Ever since becoming a parent, I've wondered how I can be the kind of parent I want to be (like my parents were) and yet have a job or career at the same time. I'd especially like to be self-employed, though if I find the right job with the right company I wouldn't complain either.
We're not in dire straights and can make it for a good long while without the 2nd income, it was really more about meeting our charitable goals and college savings for the kids, and less about meeting day-to-day expenses.
While I'm still looking for a possible "perfect job" I have decided to take the plunge and follow my parent's entrepreneural footsteps. I applied for a business liscence and now am the sole-proprieter of "A Notary Now!" a mobile notary company.
I've been a notary for several years, but I've never charged anyone for my services. I'm also planning to do some freelance writing (I've done this before and *loved* it!). I'm also going to be volunteering more--with my kids' school, and within the adoption community.
Cross your fingers for me for some good notary business. I'll be doing a lot of financial, adoption and construction type documents, so if you know anyone in these industries, please direct them my way.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Now What?
So the economy has gotten to us. Today I was laid off from the company I've worked for for three years. I'm pretty bummed by that because I loved the company and will miss my colleagues, but feel liberated to now find the "right" job for me, as that one wasn't seeming like it fit. The opportunities for advancement that I had gone to that position for disappeared when the economy started going south, and what could have been a career was becoming a job.
I'm going to spend some time this weekend and next week determining my next strategy... do the "stay at home mom" thing (which has kind of been on my "wish list" but moving to one income-- while doable --seems scary to me). I could start my own business (I've had an idea in the back of my mind for a year now), or I could try to find another construction industry job or find something entirely different.
Alternatively, I could go back to school. That liberal arts degree hasn't exactly been bringin' home the bacon (a word to poly-sci majors....). Perhaps I could go back to that college aptitude test and become a mortitian? Now there's a job with room for advancement, easy customers and in a growth industry.
Anyhow, that's the latest--I'm currently jobless (unless I take the company's offer of a 20 hour per week position through the end of the year, which likely won't pay our childcare costs).
The kids are good--they're getting excited for the holidays. Tomorrow night I'm taking Destiny to a play at a local church and Sunday I'm taking both kids to the Langston Hughes "Black Nativity" which is a gospel production that I've wanted to see for years. Thursday we're going to the Nutcracker. The next few weeks will be a blizzard of activity.
Well, that's my story for now--I'll update as I have more ideas.
I'm going to spend some time this weekend and next week determining my next strategy... do the "stay at home mom" thing (which has kind of been on my "wish list" but moving to one income-- while doable --seems scary to me). I could start my own business (I've had an idea in the back of my mind for a year now), or I could try to find another construction industry job or find something entirely different.
Alternatively, I could go back to school. That liberal arts degree hasn't exactly been bringin' home the bacon (a word to poly-sci majors....). Perhaps I could go back to that college aptitude test and become a mortitian? Now there's a job with room for advancement, easy customers and in a growth industry.
Anyhow, that's the latest--I'm currently jobless (unless I take the company's offer of a 20 hour per week position through the end of the year, which likely won't pay our childcare costs).
The kids are good--they're getting excited for the holidays. Tomorrow night I'm taking Destiny to a play at a local church and Sunday I'm taking both kids to the Langston Hughes "Black Nativity" which is a gospel production that I've wanted to see for years. Thursday we're going to the Nutcracker. The next few weeks will be a blizzard of activity.
Well, that's my story for now--I'll update as I have more ideas.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
First thanksgiving
It was our first thanksgiving with Melat, and I think she gets the program. Eat a lot, play a lot, and visit with everyone. She seems ok with that so long as someone passes her the meat in a hurry. (Boy this kid can eat!).
Destiny LOVES thanskgiving. I remember her first thanskgiving with us three years ago, she woke me up at 3:00 AM saying "mom--i can't smell the turkey--do you think it is here?" I shouted "NO! It's stuck in the chimney with the easter bunny!! Now go back to bed!!!!" Grandma was cooking the turkey that year...at her house.
Thanksgiving is nice for Destiny because it's relatively the same for all American families (though I've since remembered that we forgot to have collard greens for Destiny, which she always looks forward to).
I think with Melat the honeymoon is over. She's let out her full three-year old fussy, tantrumy self. It's not too awful, but it's really wearing on Destiny hard, and Destiny is also expressing her full, tantrummy self. (Which in turn, is really wearing on mommy). We know from experience that This too shall pass.
You'll recall that in our attempt to teach Melat her new name (Melat Elizabeth) Destiny somehow managed to teach her that her name is "Melat Garbage." which she still seems to believe (I thought it was cured, but she introduced herself to everyone at thanksgiving as Melat garbage.
I've since decided that since Destiny so likes garbage, taking out the trash shall be her chore until Melat learns her new name.... and despite Destiny's very best efforts at re-teaching, she's not getting anywhere. Melat idolizes Destiny. She's so cool that poor Destiny can't even pee with peace. If Melat hasn't snuck into the bathroom somehow, she haunts outside the door and provides the play-by-play. Poor Destiny! She doesnt' really want to be separated (she turns downs offers for a weekend vacation at grandma's or an evening out with mom) but she is obviously a little chafed by her barnacle of a little sister, and it doesn't help that the house is small, so we're all a little underfoot of each other now.
Needless to say, there's the constant "she hit me" or "she told me to stop it" (even when no crime has been committed by either party). It truly is constant.
By the way, mom, I'm sorry for every stupid fight I ever picked with Sarah--I know I deserve this, but this is SO not fun.
We're planning to put the condo on the market after January, we're cramped and markets be damned, I need to be able to tell these noisy kids to go outside and play every now and then, and I'm willing to pay the price. We've got to find a house with a yard big enough for two or three bickering kids.
Melat's English is coming along great. There's still some words I can't quite figure out, and she always talks about herself in first person (kind of cute, but I hope she grows out of it before too long). She's being stubborn and onry, but even Destiny is intervening and saying "trust me on this kid--you don't want to mess with them like that."
We put up our holiday decorations this weekend, and Melat seems to think that the Nativity is a dollhouse. I routinely find all of the characters lined up in the "house" or all out, or re-arranged. She thinks that the wise men are carrying coffee cups, which cracks us up. She LOVES the Christmas tree, especially the annual ornaments that have Destiny's school photos.
Melat carries the school photo ornamants around the house, and Arthur (our cat) carries the fuzzy ornaments around the house. Destiny is the only one with the good sense to leave the tree alone.
I apologize for having no photos or video to share. The new computer I bought in July just recently quit working entirely--and had to be returned for waranty repairs... it had all of my photo and video downloads on it. I'm totally bummed. I'm crossing my fingers hoping the problem is waranty work and not that somebody in this house has fed my new computer a peanut butter sandwich.
Well, that's the update for now. we're planning a few holiday outings--I'm thinking of taking Destiny to a play this Friday--we've got Nutcracker tickets with friends next week, and maybe Zoolights (the kids both LOVE the zoo and it's best to do that before it gets butt-cold) and spending time with friends and family.
Destiny LOVES thanskgiving. I remember her first thanskgiving with us three years ago, she woke me up at 3:00 AM saying "mom--i can't smell the turkey--do you think it is here?" I shouted "NO! It's stuck in the chimney with the easter bunny!! Now go back to bed!!!!" Grandma was cooking the turkey that year...at her house.
Thanksgiving is nice for Destiny because it's relatively the same for all American families (though I've since remembered that we forgot to have collard greens for Destiny, which she always looks forward to).
I think with Melat the honeymoon is over. She's let out her full three-year old fussy, tantrumy self. It's not too awful, but it's really wearing on Destiny hard, and Destiny is also expressing her full, tantrummy self. (Which in turn, is really wearing on mommy). We know from experience that This too shall pass.
You'll recall that in our attempt to teach Melat her new name (Melat Elizabeth) Destiny somehow managed to teach her that her name is "Melat Garbage." which she still seems to believe (I thought it was cured, but she introduced herself to everyone at thanksgiving as Melat garbage.
I've since decided that since Destiny so likes garbage, taking out the trash shall be her chore until Melat learns her new name.... and despite Destiny's very best efforts at re-teaching, she's not getting anywhere. Melat idolizes Destiny. She's so cool that poor Destiny can't even pee with peace. If Melat hasn't snuck into the bathroom somehow, she haunts outside the door and provides the play-by-play. Poor Destiny! She doesnt' really want to be separated (she turns downs offers for a weekend vacation at grandma's or an evening out with mom) but she is obviously a little chafed by her barnacle of a little sister, and it doesn't help that the house is small, so we're all a little underfoot of each other now.
Needless to say, there's the constant "she hit me" or "she told me to stop it" (even when no crime has been committed by either party). It truly is constant.
By the way, mom, I'm sorry for every stupid fight I ever picked with Sarah--I know I deserve this, but this is SO not fun.
We're planning to put the condo on the market after January, we're cramped and markets be damned, I need to be able to tell these noisy kids to go outside and play every now and then, and I'm willing to pay the price. We've got to find a house with a yard big enough for two or three bickering kids.
Melat's English is coming along great. There's still some words I can't quite figure out, and she always talks about herself in first person (kind of cute, but I hope she grows out of it before too long). She's being stubborn and onry, but even Destiny is intervening and saying "trust me on this kid--you don't want to mess with them like that."
We put up our holiday decorations this weekend, and Melat seems to think that the Nativity is a dollhouse. I routinely find all of the characters lined up in the "house" or all out, or re-arranged. She thinks that the wise men are carrying coffee cups, which cracks us up. She LOVES the Christmas tree, especially the annual ornaments that have Destiny's school photos.
Melat carries the school photo ornamants around the house, and Arthur (our cat) carries the fuzzy ornaments around the house. Destiny is the only one with the good sense to leave the tree alone.
I apologize for having no photos or video to share. The new computer I bought in July just recently quit working entirely--and had to be returned for waranty repairs... it had all of my photo and video downloads on it. I'm totally bummed. I'm crossing my fingers hoping the problem is waranty work and not that somebody in this house has fed my new computer a peanut butter sandwich.
Well, that's the update for now. we're planning a few holiday outings--I'm thinking of taking Destiny to a play this Friday--we've got Nutcracker tickets with friends next week, and maybe Zoolights (the kids both LOVE the zoo and it's best to do that before it gets butt-cold) and spending time with friends and family.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Update on life at our house
Well, it's getting to be that time of year. Really, a favorite time of year as all of the family events come up--Thanksgiving, Christmas, football games to watch, all of it.
At our house it's a tough time too though. Destiny was adopted as an older child--and as a result holidays bring up a lot of grief and sadness for her. It begins on October 7th every year--her brother's birthday. It's like a fresh wound each year (we were reminiscing recently that this was the first Halloween she's been with us and not grounded). She grieves the loss of her siblings, and she has anxiety about the unknown--what is he doing now, where is he, does he remember her, and does he think she's forgotten him? There's little we can do except be supportive to her and try to give her some space.
Holidays similarly--Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas--even Superbowl Sunday bring up memories of how she's spent those holidays before here. Holidays are an amazingly sentimental time. You remember the good and bad that comes attached with the date.
Melat will have similar grief I think but there's so little here that is at all similar to Ethiopia that I don't think the pain will be as great. (We do see a brief flash of it each time we visit an Ethiopian restaurant though).
Its times like this that I wish I could "fix" it all for my kids, but I know that this is theirs to deal with, and that the very best that I can do is to support them in their grief.
Destiny's been acting out on her grief and her frustration that either A: we're not parenting properly in her opinion or B: the world is entirely unfair to all preteens, most especially her (likely a combination?). We had a long talk today about how she really needed to leave the parenting to the professionals. That while we have simple rules in our house, contrary to her belief, it is *NOT* fair to enforce them all swiftly and to the greatest extent with little sister, who doesn't have the skills or language to absorb all of her worldly expectations at once.
Destiny sees this as a grave injustice and a few times has attempted to take matters into her own hands--which hasn't been working out well for her--further reinforcing that the entire world is completely unfair to all preteens, especially her.
This too shall pass.
We saw a little streak of this subversiveness recently, as we've finally settled on Melat's name after much consideration and debate, shes' been named "Melat Elizabeth" (after Rob's sister, and because it sounds really good when shouted loudly across our condo).
We've been trying to teach Melat her new name, but she doesn't know "Elizabeth." Destiny, preying on this, made the effort to teach Melat (on the sly) that her new name is actually "Melat Garbage." Which Melat was OK with, because she knows the word Garbage.
Eventually, little sister figured out she'd been pranked, big sister spent a little "thinking time" in her room, and mom and dad had to spend a little more time trying to figure out what to do with two kids who are too smart for their own good.
I don't think Destiny meant anything by it other than an opportunity to get a little jab in at little sister who's been stealing the show being just a little too precious. I think Destiny is discovering that perhaps she's "grown out" of cute.
It's an awkward place after growing out of cute while still growing into "mature."
Keep Destiny in your thoughts and prayers as she grows into her "big sister" role. We've seen her come so far in the past few years that it's sad to see her slip into old insecurities, but we know she'll come back with a little more time to get used to things. (It's only been a month after all).
At our house it's a tough time too though. Destiny was adopted as an older child--and as a result holidays bring up a lot of grief and sadness for her. It begins on October 7th every year--her brother's birthday. It's like a fresh wound each year (we were reminiscing recently that this was the first Halloween she's been with us and not grounded). She grieves the loss of her siblings, and she has anxiety about the unknown--what is he doing now, where is he, does he remember her, and does he think she's forgotten him? There's little we can do except be supportive to her and try to give her some space.
Holidays similarly--Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas--even Superbowl Sunday bring up memories of how she's spent those holidays before here. Holidays are an amazingly sentimental time. You remember the good and bad that comes attached with the date.
Melat will have similar grief I think but there's so little here that is at all similar to Ethiopia that I don't think the pain will be as great. (We do see a brief flash of it each time we visit an Ethiopian restaurant though).
Its times like this that I wish I could "fix" it all for my kids, but I know that this is theirs to deal with, and that the very best that I can do is to support them in their grief.
Destiny's been acting out on her grief and her frustration that either A: we're not parenting properly in her opinion or B: the world is entirely unfair to all preteens, most especially her (likely a combination?). We had a long talk today about how she really needed to leave the parenting to the professionals. That while we have simple rules in our house, contrary to her belief, it is *NOT* fair to enforce them all swiftly and to the greatest extent with little sister, who doesn't have the skills or language to absorb all of her worldly expectations at once.
Destiny sees this as a grave injustice and a few times has attempted to take matters into her own hands--which hasn't been working out well for her--further reinforcing that the entire world is completely unfair to all preteens, especially her.
This too shall pass.
We saw a little streak of this subversiveness recently, as we've finally settled on Melat's name after much consideration and debate, shes' been named "Melat Elizabeth" (after Rob's sister, and because it sounds really good when shouted loudly across our condo).
We've been trying to teach Melat her new name, but she doesn't know "Elizabeth." Destiny, preying on this, made the effort to teach Melat (on the sly) that her new name is actually "Melat Garbage." Which Melat was OK with, because she knows the word Garbage.
Eventually, little sister figured out she'd been pranked, big sister spent a little "thinking time" in her room, and mom and dad had to spend a little more time trying to figure out what to do with two kids who are too smart for their own good.
I don't think Destiny meant anything by it other than an opportunity to get a little jab in at little sister who's been stealing the show being just a little too precious. I think Destiny is discovering that perhaps she's "grown out" of cute.
It's an awkward place after growing out of cute while still growing into "mature."
Keep Destiny in your thoughts and prayers as she grows into her "big sister" role. We've seen her come so far in the past few years that it's sad to see her slip into old insecurities, but we know she'll come back with a little more time to get used to things. (It's only been a month after all).
Great video about HIV adoption
This is a TV show called "Facing Life Head On" and outlines what it's like to adopt HIV+ children. It's really beautiful. Carolyn is an aquaintance of mine via the adoption blogs. She's also the first person who was able to bring us a photo of Melat smiling while she was at AHOPE. While Carolyn was at AHOPE with one of her kids, she spent some time playing and hugging on Melat for which we're eternally grateful!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Amazing Story
Have you seen this amazing story? It comes with interesting timing--at the same time as the death of Dr. Micahel Chriton (one of the best novelists of all time, and the author of Jurrassic Park). The link is here it's about how a mouse, dead and frozen for 16 years has been successfully cloned. Now scientists want to try it with a mammoth.
Rob and I were talking about this, and he brought up a point perhaps only Rob could think of (What the &%#&#)* will they artificially inseminate with a mammoth?) Nobody wants to carry a mammoth... that's why there was never a Mrs. Snuffleufagus.
Rob and I were talking about this, and he brought up a point perhaps only Rob could think of (What the &%#&#)* will they artificially inseminate with a mammoth?) Nobody wants to carry a mammoth... that's why there was never a Mrs. Snuffleufagus.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Missing Ethiopia
This daylight savings time thing is for the birds....
For us Northwesterners the winter (the part of the year between September and July) is just too long and dark. I realized this thinkinig about how bright Ethiopia was all the time. When I started thining about it (driving home today in the dark at 4:30PM), I realized that it being on the Equator has normal daylight year round, and being at such high elevation, while it still gets hot, doesn't get crazy hot like so many other parts of Africa....
Sunshine---nature's antidepressant.
For us Northwesterners the winter (the part of the year between September and July) is just too long and dark. I realized this thinkinig about how bright Ethiopia was all the time. When I started thining about it (driving home today in the dark at 4:30PM), I realized that it being on the Equator has normal daylight year round, and being at such high elevation, while it still gets hot, doesn't get crazy hot like so many other parts of Africa....
Sunshine---nature's antidepressant.
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