This video was taken in the spring (2010) when we went to Missouri to visit my grandpa and my dad. Melat was sitting on this swiveling chair toy at a park, but it was a really windy day, and her fro-tails (pigtails) were like kites and kept spinning her, faster and faster.
We thought you would enjoy.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Melkam Addis Amet! (Happy New Year!)
Today is Ethiopian New Year's Eve. We're planning on celebrating with the Ethiopian Community Mutual Association in Seattle. Ethiopian New year is a really fun holiday to celebrate--much like our Independence Day.
In preparation, both kids got new hairdos. Melat is taking her five-year-old privilege of wearing beads in her hair very seriously. I don't allow beads before age 5 for fear of choking. She wanted special beads for the new year's celebration. This style includes about 750 beads.
Destiny got a new set of single-extension braids. I've come to the point where I do not buy extensions for her anymore--she has to buy them herself. I have found she takes much better care of them this way. The style I braided in this time took about $15 worth of burgundy and black extensions. No beads in this one--the burgundy is already bright enough.
For those of you wondering how to braid like this, the answers are practice and YouTube. I've watched many, many videos on Youtube about how to cornrow, braid and braid in extension hair (plastic hair). Also, the right products make a big difference. We use Belle Butter whipped shea in Destiny's hair (it's very dry and her scalp gets very dry) and olive oil in Melat's hair. To find Belle Butter, it is sold on Etsy here: http://www.etsy.com/shop/mstashab?ref=top_trail
We've adopted again!
Breathe mom... you already know about this one. But not everyone has met the latest member of the family--Andrew the kitten!
Andrew was born in April and came from a feral kitten rescue, and spends his days rumbling around our house like a bowling ball. He's full of mischief and silliness and has a purr like a chainsaw.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
August Update -- Melat turns 5 and steps on the Path to US Citizenship
We've been pretty absent around here for a couple of reasons--first, this is an adoptive family blog for the most part, with an audience of prospective adoptive families. We really haven't felt like a "different" family lately. The kids haven't had any of their special needs issues flaring, we haven't had attachment issues, and it's been summer, so we have been outside playing.
There were a couple of big summer milestones, so those warrant a post. First, Melat turned 5 on August 22. We postponed her adoption finalization while we waited to decide if we were going to change her birthdate. Ultimately we decided not to--believing it to be accurate (her birthmom assured us that it was) but she's just an especially bright kid, and has very good motor coordination, so we've always wondered.
On August 25th, we went to court to finalize her adoption. We did this pro se (without an attorney) to save on adoption costs. Because Ethiopia isn't part of the Hague convention, kids adopted in ET have to be re-adopted to gain US Citizenship, otherwise she remains a permanent resident alien on a green card with a Ethiopian passport.
I'm including a photo of all of us at the court--the judge gave her the funny pink Alligator and the court staff took this cute portrait of all of us. We spent two days playing on the beaches of Port Townsend (we filed in Jefferson county--which would be less hassle than in our home county).
After court, we took all the family out for an old-fashioned burger and malt lunch at a soda fountian in the back of a pharmacy. They had a great little corner that fit our little birthday party, and Melat got to open her birthday presents, and drink the biggest milkshake I've ever seen. A fun birthday party was had by all.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Melat doesn't want to grow up, because old people are gross.
The kids always seem to express their thoughts in the car. Today, Melat told me "I don't want to get old, because old people are gross." Melat is my four and a half year old Ethiopian daughter.
I asked her why old people are gross. She reminisced about a recent trip to Missouri to see my grandfather in his last days. My kids do great with illness and death. They've both seen their share of it, and are totally practical about enjoying the last time that you have with people. They were not intimidated or afraid and were even reluctant to leave the hospital when I decided we'd spent enough time for grandpa's good (some times... too much company, especially in the form of boisterous children is not good).
They took in everything. Melat saw the bag where the urine goes for a bed-bound person who can't get up for the bathroom. That was a very curious feature but she agreed that something must be done if you're too big for diapers and need to go, but can't.
We brought grandma some lunch in the hospital--a bag of little burgers. Melat wanted to know why we weren't bringing grandpa any burgers. While grandma chewed, I explained to her that grandpa was too weak to eat a burger and that he gets all the food he needs from the IV bag, pointing to the bag suspended above his head and the plastic tube that ran to his hand. "He's not hungry because he gets his food and water in that thing."
"Ok" she said without further questions. (whew... I thought that was going to be harder to explain).
So now, six weeks later, she explained to me that old people are gross. Because they pee in the bag and then get their food from the bag.
I guess I hadn't made it clear that they are different bags.
We lost grandpa later on the day of our visit, but we were all very happy to be there and say our last goodbyes and it was a pleasant visit all around. It's going to take me a little while to explain to her that old people don't eat pee. :-/
I asked her why old people are gross. She reminisced about a recent trip to Missouri to see my grandfather in his last days. My kids do great with illness and death. They've both seen their share of it, and are totally practical about enjoying the last time that you have with people. They were not intimidated or afraid and were even reluctant to leave the hospital when I decided we'd spent enough time for grandpa's good (some times... too much company, especially in the form of boisterous children is not good).
They took in everything. Melat saw the bag where the urine goes for a bed-bound person who can't get up for the bathroom. That was a very curious feature but she agreed that something must be done if you're too big for diapers and need to go, but can't.
We brought grandma some lunch in the hospital--a bag of little burgers. Melat wanted to know why we weren't bringing grandpa any burgers. While grandma chewed, I explained to her that grandpa was too weak to eat a burger and that he gets all the food he needs from the IV bag, pointing to the bag suspended above his head and the plastic tube that ran to his hand. "He's not hungry because he gets his food and water in that thing."
"Ok" she said without further questions. (whew... I thought that was going to be harder to explain).
So now, six weeks later, she explained to me that old people are gross. Because they pee in the bag and then get their food from the bag.
I guess I hadn't made it clear that they are different bags.
We lost grandpa later on the day of our visit, but we were all very happy to be there and say our last goodbyes and it was a pleasant visit all around. It's going to take me a little while to explain to her that old people don't eat pee. :-/
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Rachel's Day, May 1
I read in the church newsletter this week about a day called "Rachel's Day" which began in 1996 in Bethel West church in Chicago.
Its name comes from Jeremiah 31:15-17 wherein Rachel mourns for her children--refusing to be comforted because "they are no more."
The Lord speaks to her and says "refrain your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears; for your work shall be rewarded, stays the Lord. And they shall come back from the enemy. There is hope in your future, says the Lord, that your children shall come back to their own border."
I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't know much about Rachel as a Biblical character. I don't know if her children were dead, or if they were just "lost" in the world, but this passage speaks to me regardless. It's a good reminder that while as mothers we'll be worrying and crying over our children be they lost, astray or just facing the hazards of the world--they are not alone, and God is watching over them, ready to lead them back.
Hang in there parents--remember, you're not in this alone--the Heavenly Father is in charge.
This passage also reminds me of all the children who don't have parents--that they aren't as alone as it looks like. He watches over them as well, and while we're responsible for doing all that we can to care for the orphans of the world, perhaps the most important thing that we can do is make sure they know that He is there for them and that he is there to lead them back and protect them from the world.
Something to think about.
Its name comes from Jeremiah 31:15-17 wherein Rachel mourns for her children--refusing to be comforted because "they are no more."
The Lord speaks to her and says "refrain your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears; for your work shall be rewarded, stays the Lord. And they shall come back from the enemy. There is hope in your future, says the Lord, that your children shall come back to their own border."
I'm embarrassed to admit that I don't know much about Rachel as a Biblical character. I don't know if her children were dead, or if they were just "lost" in the world, but this passage speaks to me regardless. It's a good reminder that while as mothers we'll be worrying and crying over our children be they lost, astray or just facing the hazards of the world--they are not alone, and God is watching over them, ready to lead them back.
Hang in there parents--remember, you're not in this alone--the Heavenly Father is in charge.
This passage also reminds me of all the children who don't have parents--that they aren't as alone as it looks like. He watches over them as well, and while we're responsible for doing all that we can to care for the orphans of the world, perhaps the most important thing that we can do is make sure they know that He is there for them and that he is there to lead them back and protect them from the world.
Something to think about.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Happy Easter, and an unexpected trip to Missouri.
In the airport in Minneapolis on the way to Missouri, the kids and I ate dinner at a TGI Fridays. There, to keep you busy while they cook, they have Trivial Pursuit cards.
The kids and I started reading one another trival pursuit questions. I asked Destiny "Who ordered the crucifiction of Jesus Christ?" She thought a minute and I prompted her with a little bit of the Nicene Creed to jog her memory. She said "I know! It was Conscious Piliot!"
I couldn't help but laugh. With any luck, we'd have a "conscious piliot" in an hour. I explained that the guys' name was "Pontious"
Thought you'd enjoy.
If you caught that we were traveling, and knew that no vacations were in the plan for us this spring, a little explanation may be in order.
We got a call on Monday that my grandfather, whom I haven't seen in 17 years was very sick and was being removed from life support. On Tuesday, the kids and I took a standby flight to Missouri and we were able to say goodbye. He had never met them and really seemed to enjoy meeting him (it's hard to know just how much he was aware of but he did give us a clue--I'll explain in a minute).
This meant that the kids were able to see the entire Mainard side of the family--my dad, whom I haven't seen in seven years, his "new" wife of five years, my uncles and their significant others, my cousin--now a soldier in Mississippi, who I haven't seen since he was in a stroller and both of my grandparents. We made it to see Grandpa about five hours before he passed and the kids actually really enjoyed meeting him. Melat dubbed him "Grandpa sleepy" and this fellow who'd be described easily as a "tough, onry old cuss" (he's a curmudgeonly type) is generally anything but sleepy--the kids just met him in his last hours and while he was heavily medicated on Morophine.
We arrived at the hospital and the kids saw him on Oxygen and barely moving--his eyes were open and his breathing was rattling (many medical practitioners have dubbed this "the death rattle") I recognized it was the end almost right away. We introduced him to the girls and expected to leave almost immediately for fear we'd be overwhelming to him--but the girls didn't want to leave. They sat and talked to him. Melat climbed up in the recliner next to him and talked to him. Destiny sat by my grandmother and held her hand and listened through the stories, talk and tears.
I've always had a huge respect for my grandfather. Halfway because he scared the tar out of me (he was a drill sergeant at one time and served in both the Vietnam and Korean wars) but he was a very kind person and really enjoys children and the girls didn't seem to bother him at all.
From Melat's spot on one side of grandpa--she offered my grandmother a piece of gum. She explained that she doesn't chew gum because it sticks to her teeth. In an attempt to better explain herself, she popped out her bottom dentures.
My kids have never seen dentures before and they both shrieked.
The next thing that happened stunned us all. Grandpa laughed--a great big belly laugh, and a big (denture-free) smile.
This is exactly the sort of thing that he would have found hysterical, so we were pretty sure he was aware enough of what was going on.
Overall, the trip was a wonderful success, even in spite of bad circumstances and no planning. We got to meet my step-mom and one of my step-sisters and her husband and their three delightful children. I haven't seen my dad in seven years, so he's never met my daughters--they loved spending time with him.
The kids were great up until the very last flight when the fatigue and travel started to fray their otherwise perfect manners.
I spent a lot of time ruminating on what a gift it was that my parents made a point of making sure my sisters and I knew our grandparents. They preserved family stories--and always told us about the difference that our grandparents made in the world. My grandfather, Roger Cummings served in two wars--Vietnam and Korea. He was also a POW. He was a drill sergeant at one point. He had a red-hot temper but a soft spot for children. He would help anyone who needed help. He had a heart of gold. He married my grandmother, a single mom with three sons and they were married for something like forty-six years when he passed on Tuesday.
It seemed like a good time to meet everyone while they were in town to be with grandpa--my aunts and uncles, my cousin Richard, and my dad and step mom and of course, grandma and grandpa--so I took the kids. Some would argue that this was a bad idea, especially taking kids to see a grandfather they've never met in is dying hours. I questioned the idea myself, but it ended up being a fantastic success. With this side of the family, we weren't sure how they would react to our interracial family, nor Melat's HIV diagnosis. We couldn't have asked for a better outcome. Our family was perfectly at home with our "conspicuous adoption" and a couple of skinned-knee incidents let me know that the family did know about M's HIV. I didn't get fear or shunning--just a "mom--how would you like us to deal with this?"
Melat was able to play with my step-nieces and nephew without any fear or shunning.
Shame on me for underestimating them. We couldn't have asked for a kinder reception or more inclusion. The kids and I look forward to our next trip and hope it will be soon--Rob wants to go next time also, but for this trip we planned on so little notice that we didn't even wait for him to get off shift.
We're looking forward to our next trip to Missouri--it's not scheduled yet, but we're hoping soon.
Also, we're extremely thankful that we've been doing the Total Money Makeover plan. Because of that, we had the money (and a plan) for such unplanned expenses as an emergency cross-country trip. Eighteen months ago there was no way we could have pulled something like this off. If you don't know about TMMO, see www.daveramsey.com. It'll change your life!
Happy Easter everyone--He has Risen!
The kids and I started reading one another trival pursuit questions. I asked Destiny "Who ordered the crucifiction of Jesus Christ?" She thought a minute and I prompted her with a little bit of the Nicene Creed to jog her memory. She said "I know! It was Conscious Piliot!"
I couldn't help but laugh. With any luck, we'd have a "conscious piliot" in an hour. I explained that the guys' name was "Pontious"
Thought you'd enjoy.
If you caught that we were traveling, and knew that no vacations were in the plan for us this spring, a little explanation may be in order.
We got a call on Monday that my grandfather, whom I haven't seen in 17 years was very sick and was being removed from life support. On Tuesday, the kids and I took a standby flight to Missouri and we were able to say goodbye. He had never met them and really seemed to enjoy meeting him (it's hard to know just how much he was aware of but he did give us a clue--I'll explain in a minute).
This meant that the kids were able to see the entire Mainard side of the family--my dad, whom I haven't seen in seven years, his "new" wife of five years, my uncles and their significant others, my cousin--now a soldier in Mississippi, who I haven't seen since he was in a stroller and both of my grandparents. We made it to see Grandpa about five hours before he passed and the kids actually really enjoyed meeting him. Melat dubbed him "Grandpa sleepy" and this fellow who'd be described easily as a "tough, onry old cuss" (he's a curmudgeonly type) is generally anything but sleepy--the kids just met him in his last hours and while he was heavily medicated on Morophine.
We arrived at the hospital and the kids saw him on Oxygen and barely moving--his eyes were open and his breathing was rattling (many medical practitioners have dubbed this "the death rattle") I recognized it was the end almost right away. We introduced him to the girls and expected to leave almost immediately for fear we'd be overwhelming to him--but the girls didn't want to leave. They sat and talked to him. Melat climbed up in the recliner next to him and talked to him. Destiny sat by my grandmother and held her hand and listened through the stories, talk and tears.
I've always had a huge respect for my grandfather. Halfway because he scared the tar out of me (he was a drill sergeant at one time and served in both the Vietnam and Korean wars) but he was a very kind person and really enjoys children and the girls didn't seem to bother him at all.
From Melat's spot on one side of grandpa--she offered my grandmother a piece of gum. She explained that she doesn't chew gum because it sticks to her teeth. In an attempt to better explain herself, she popped out her bottom dentures.
My kids have never seen dentures before and they both shrieked.
The next thing that happened stunned us all. Grandpa laughed--a great big belly laugh, and a big (denture-free) smile.
This is exactly the sort of thing that he would have found hysterical, so we were pretty sure he was aware enough of what was going on.
Overall, the trip was a wonderful success, even in spite of bad circumstances and no planning. We got to meet my step-mom and one of my step-sisters and her husband and their three delightful children. I haven't seen my dad in seven years, so he's never met my daughters--they loved spending time with him.
The kids were great up until the very last flight when the fatigue and travel started to fray their otherwise perfect manners.
I spent a lot of time ruminating on what a gift it was that my parents made a point of making sure my sisters and I knew our grandparents. They preserved family stories--and always told us about the difference that our grandparents made in the world. My grandfather, Roger Cummings served in two wars--Vietnam and Korea. He was also a POW. He was a drill sergeant at one point. He had a red-hot temper but a soft spot for children. He would help anyone who needed help. He had a heart of gold. He married my grandmother, a single mom with three sons and they were married for something like forty-six years when he passed on Tuesday.
It seemed like a good time to meet everyone while they were in town to be with grandpa--my aunts and uncles, my cousin Richard, and my dad and step mom and of course, grandma and grandpa--so I took the kids. Some would argue that this was a bad idea, especially taking kids to see a grandfather they've never met in is dying hours. I questioned the idea myself, but it ended up being a fantastic success. With this side of the family, we weren't sure how they would react to our interracial family, nor Melat's HIV diagnosis. We couldn't have asked for a better outcome. Our family was perfectly at home with our "conspicuous adoption" and a couple of skinned-knee incidents let me know that the family did know about M's HIV. I didn't get fear or shunning--just a "mom--how would you like us to deal with this?"
Melat was able to play with my step-nieces and nephew without any fear or shunning.
Shame on me for underestimating them. We couldn't have asked for a kinder reception or more inclusion. The kids and I look forward to our next trip and hope it will be soon--Rob wants to go next time also, but for this trip we planned on so little notice that we didn't even wait for him to get off shift.
We're looking forward to our next trip to Missouri--it's not scheduled yet, but we're hoping soon.
Also, we're extremely thankful that we've been doing the Total Money Makeover plan. Because of that, we had the money (and a plan) for such unplanned expenses as an emergency cross-country trip. Eighteen months ago there was no way we could have pulled something like this off. If you don't know about TMMO, see www.daveramsey.com. It'll change your life!
Happy Easter everyone--He has Risen!
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