24 Days of Christmas

I've got a crazy idea. Let me preface this by saying that my regular work plus holidays makes December a CRAZY busy month, so it may not work out to follow the plan. But I also want to say that listening to Christmas Music gives me a lot to pray about. It rattles around my mind and brings up different thoughts in a way that no other music seems to do. Perhaps it's the seasonality of it.

Back to my crazy ideas. I'm going to blog 24 holiday songs to think about this season. From songs that make you remember or forget or think, I'll blog what's on my heart/mind each day.

Today, being World AIDS Day, my thoughts are with my youngest daughter's birthmom, living in Ethiopia with AIDS.

I wish that she was here with us, enjoying the holiday season. I wish she could hang the ornaments on the tree with us. I wish I could show her the fancy braids that I put in M's hair with red and white beads.

Officially, the beads are supposed to be "candy cane colors" but as I threaded them on my daughter's long, slender plaits, I thought of the red and white blood cells battling with each beat of her heart to keep her healthy. I thought of the battle that her other mom is loosing.

Some may think that they belong 100% to their adopted child, but I've always seen myself as an equal partner with her other mom. I am raising her daughter because she cannot. We are both 100% mothers to our sweet daughter. I dread the day that we will loose her. I may never even know if/when it happens. She could be gone already. That won't make me 200% M's mom though. I'll be the same, and she'll have one less adult who loves her. That breaks my heart.

I wish I could tie this thought up in a pretty ribbon, but I can't. It hurts. Mothers, fathers, children all die of HIV/AIDS. A preventable disease. While not curable, it is treatable and can be put into remission with proper adherence and access to medication, but I'm powerless to provide this to M's other mom. M (5 years old) realized this a few months ago and begged me to take her pediatrician to Ethiopia to explain why her mom must take her medicine or she will die.

I explained that she already knows this, and that it is her choice not to take her medicine, and there must be a wisdom to her decision, but it is not our place to judge her choice. We will pray for healing and continue to look for options, and prepare our little girl for the inevitable loss of her birthmom.

I would do anything to prevent my daughter from loosing her other mother. But there's nothing that I can do.

Today's song
Today, the song on my heart is "Christmas in Africa." Perhaps this is less a praise than a rebuttal. I like that it keeps Africa front of mind during the holiday season. I like the visual that it provides (I can't imagine Africa ever seeming "Christmassey" but the fact of the matter is, one of the Magi was Ethiopian. He traveled, following the star to worship the Son of God in Bethlehem. OK, I've been to Ethiopia, and crossing town is an adventure, but crossing the continent? Wow!! That truly is Epic.

Also, one thing that I can tell you from experience is that in many parts of Africa, Christmas is NOT forgotten. Despite death, hunger, and hardship, the faith is strong. Stronger, perhaps than anything I have ever seen in the USA. I learned many things about my own faith from my brief time in Africa.

Yes, I think that many know that it is Christmastime. But continue to spread the word.

Please join me in a prayer for my "extended family" in Ethiopia.

Jess



PS: I'll try to keep the posts less depressing from here on out. I'm just in a melancholy mood today.

PSS: I'm tagging these posts Holiday24 if you miss one and want to catch up later.